WASHINGTON, DC – During the State of the Union address last month President Obama made a number of statements reflecting on the past year and made a number of promises looking ahead.

TULSA, OK – In preparation for the 2016 Olympics, local Walt Brerger has declared that he will be moving to Greenland to complete for the country in the beach volleyball event.

BJORN, GREENLAND – A panel meeting to determine the cost-effectiveness of the 12-month calendar decided Thursday to remove the month of February from all American calendars. The decision to revoke February’s Month status was a universal one and came on only the second day of the conference.