LOS ANGELES, CA – A local Pasadena man is still wearing a fedora hat in publi

NEWARK, DELAWARE – In what is being described as a major coup, many prominent witches have given their endorsement to Delaware Senate hopeful, Christine O’Donnell.

SANTA FE, NM – Christians are flocking to Santa Fe, to see what some are saying is the image of Jesus Christ that has appeared in a painting of Jesus Christ.

LOS ANGELES, CA – Friends and family of Jesus Christ are confirming recent internet reports that the Christian icon has converted to Scientology. The shift in religious philosophy has come as a shock to Christians all over the world.

WASHINGTON, D.C. – What Republicans across the nation feared has come to pass as the new Democrat controlled Congress unleashed its gay loving, tree hugging, god hating, anti-American agenda on the American public.

LONDON – Rabbits all over the world will celebrate the life and death of their lord and savior, Peter Cottontail, this month with a massive gathering in a farm just outside of London.

WASHINGTON, DC – During his weekly radio address to the nation, President Bush unveiled his Homeland Security Plan stating that “this plan will protect Americans from shore to shore – and all those people in between. Unless of course you are a terrorist, then you won’t be safe.”

SALT LAKE CITY, UT – A pair of 20-year-old college students, Jacob Hensdale and Mark Richards, were arrested this week for possession of Coke while driving just east of Salt Lake City on Interstate 80. After being stopped for speeding, a Utah Highway Patrol officer noticed two one-litre bottles of Coca-Cola in the car’s cup holders. The pair was immediately taken into custody.

CASPER, WY – In a discovery that will undoubtedly set the anthropological world on its proverbial ear, researchers from the University of Wyoming have uncovered proof that English, particularly American English, has been the dominant language in most of the world, throughout history.