SAN FRANCISCO, CA –Apple has announced it will soon add new photo filters specifically designed for dick pics.

LOS ANGELES, CA – The popular dating app Tinder is planning on expanding to a new market by allowing users to list their blood type and organ health within the app.

SPOKANE, WA – Gonzaga University freshman Arden Bleamoe told friends that he has “sick” spring break plans and he is definitely not going home to his parent’s house.

BOGOTA, COLOMBIA – In an effort to draw tourists to the country, Columbia will open it’s first ski resort featuring cocaine rather than snow.

LOS GATOS, CA –After a string of popular releases, Netflix has announced a new cooking competition show titled “I’d Fuck it.”

TOKYO, JAPAN – The ongoing COVID-19 pandemic has forced the International Olympic Committee to make several changes to events of this year’s Summer Olympic Games to accommodate athletes COVID-19 related symptoms.

TAMPA, FL – The National Football League (NFL) announced the theme for this year’s Super Bowl halftime show will be “America” and will feature a large number of white people wandering around “doing whatever they want to do.”

GLENDALE, AZ – After being visited by three ghosts, local businessman Walter Bandict, has announced that he will no longer offer his employees paid time off and medical benefits.

Costa Mesa, CA – Halloween is coming at the end of the month and The Scoop News has reached out to several costume stores across the country to compile a list of this year’s best selling costumes.

DENVER, CO – After recent snowstorms wreaked havoc in cities across the country, God has apologized saying he made the decision to create the winter storms after “half listening to some eight-year-old’s prayer.”