KYIV, UKRAINE – Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy has formally requested military assistance from the world’s largest army – Taylor Swift’s Swifty Army.

PITTSBURGH, PA – A new study out of the University of Pittsburgh shows that a large majority of Generation Z is not planning to have children because “fuck that.”

IRVINE, CA – Taco Bell will be rolling out a new menu item this month consisting of a handful of meat, cheese, and lettuce rolled into a ball. Taco Bell “chefs” are calling the new creation El Wado.

SALEM, OR – After almost five years of waiting, local man James Beal, 29, has announced that the new video game, The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom (TOTK), has not made his life complete.

COLUMBIA, SC – Republican presidential candidate Nikki Haley says she is looking forward to a long campaign and ultimately losing the nomination to an old, white man later this year.

TORONTO, CANADA – For the 57th consecutive year, the Toronto Maple Leafs will not play in the Super Bowl, frustrating a dedicated and passionate fan base.

CINCINNATI, OH – In an effort to appeal to men, Procter & Gamble (P&G) is releasing a new Dawn Dish Soap made specifically for men.

ATLANTA, GA – Southwest Airlines has announced a three-pronged plan for addressing the large number of flight cancelations the airline has made in recent weeks.

NEW YORK, NY – The season of gift giving is here and to help find the best toys for the children in your life, The Scoop News has pulled together a list of this year’s top selling, sought-after, and affordable toys.

LOS GATOS, CA –After a string of popular releases, Netflix has announced a new cooking competition show titled “I’d Fuck it.”