LOS ANGELES, CA – As thousands of students graduate college and move back in with their parents, redecorating tips for basement living spaces has become a popular social media trend.

BOULDER, CO – Local man, Matt Crellio, has revealed to coworkers that in addition to being an expert in virology he is also an expert in foreign policy with specific focus on Russia.

NEW YORK, NY – Following the success of the “Manning Cast” for NFL games, ESPN will be launching a new live commentary option for professional sporting events featuring drunk, racist uncles.

WASHINGTON, D.C. – The Chinese government is definitely not censoring or influencing this article which is about Taiwan.

NEW YORK, NY – The National Football League has launched a new campaign called “Don’t Be a Pussy” aimed at promoting good mental health among men.

TAMPA, FL – The National Football League (NFL) announced the theme for this year’s Super Bowl halftime show will be “America” and will feature a large number of white people wandering around “doing whatever they want to do.”

MILWAUKEE, WI – Bill Gates addressed the conspiracy theories about the presence of microchips in COVID-19 vaccines by saying people are missing the positive aspects of the hypothetical implanted microchips.

PORTLAND, OR – As several states now require people to wear masks to slow the spread of COVID-19, Nike is set to release a new Nike Air Face Mask that will utilize air pump technology to contour the mask to the wearer’s face.

HELL – In an effort to increase its public perception, Hell has begun offering social media influencers incentives for promoting Hell.

DETROIT, MI – According to a recent report by the World Health Organization, most of the America’s population describes themselves as unhappy.