STANFORD, CA – Researchers at Stanford University have identified the gene responsible for making Pickup Truck owners back in to parking spaces.

SPOKANE, WA – A local mother has begun preparing herself for the inevitable disappointment of Mother’s Day.

PHOENIX, AZ – A local man was saddened by the realization that he did not know, nor had heard of, any bands that are scheduled to play a local music festival.

TALLAHASSEE, FL – Florida Governor Ron DeSantis has announced a change to Florida’s state motto. As of March 1, 2023, the new Florida state motto will be “White Place, White Time.”

CINCINNATI, OH – In an effort to appeal to men, Procter & Gamble (P&G) is releasing a new Dawn Dish Soap made specifically for men.

NORTH POLE – To help offset his carbon footprint, Santa Claus has announced that he has converted his sleigh from reindeer power to electric power.

SAN FRANCISCO, CA – The Bay Area’s hottest new restaurant is making a name for itself in both menu and sustainability by offering only crusts cut from local children’s sandwiches.

TOLEDO, OH – The winner of the recent Mega Millions lottery jackpot said she plans to purchase her very own politician with the winnings.

WASHINGTON, D.C. – The Food and Drug Administration announced this week that it has created a new product category, “fewd,” to describe items found on Taco Bell’s menu.

NEW YORK, NY – To combat falling testosterone levels in American, white males, Fox News personality Tucker Carlson recommends drinking bull semen.