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Sudan Looking Forward to Inevitable Delivery of Stanley Cups
Published March 2024KHARTOUM, SUDAN–The people of Sudan say they are looking forward to the pending influx of free Stanley cups as the popularity of the large travel cups has begun to subside in the United States of America.
![The CDC will soon issue new COVID guidance documents that can be used as an excuse to not see family this holiday season.](https://thescoopnews.com/news/images/512t.png)
CDC Reminds Americans COVID Still a Valid Excuse to Not Visit Family
Published November 2023WASHINGTON D.C., – Although severe cases and hospitalizations have decreased in recent months, scientists are the Center for Disease Control (CDC) say that COVID is still a valid excuse to not see relatives at Thanksgiving.
![Mike Rapide says he is going to take a break from constantly owning Libs.](https://thescoopnews.com/news/images/472t.png)
Local Man to Take a Break from Owning Libs
Published August 2022PRESCOTT, AZ – A local Republican says he’s getting a bored “constantly owning all the libs” and is considering taking some time off to focus on himself.
![God said he will no longer leave his children in charge when he takes a vacation.](https://thescoopnews.com/news/images/462t.png)
God Apologizes for Leaving His Kids in Charge Last Seven Years
Published March 2022HEAVEN – After returning from vacation and seeing the state of Earth, God has promised to never again put his kids in charge while he is away.
![Eric Drayton, above, is still wearing a fedora even though the hats have not been fashionable in ten years.](https://thescoopnews.com/news/images/442t.png)
Local Man Still Wearing Fedora For Some Reason
Published August 2021LOS ANGELES, CA – A local Pasadena man is still wearing a fedora hat in publi
![During the Presidential Inauguration, Hillary Clinton revealed she had been masquerading as Joe Biden for years.](https://thescoopnews.com/news/images/422t.png)
Biden Removes Mask at Inauguration to Reveal Hillary Clinton
Published February 2021WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Joe Biden stunned the nation during last month’s inauguration ceremony by removing a mask revealing that Hillary Clinton had been disguised as Biden during the election.
![President Trump has been hiding from his staff and White House security since losing the Presidential election last month.](https://thescoopnews.com/news/images/416t.png)
Trump Hiding from Staff in White House
Published December 2020WASHINGTON, DC – After losing the Presidential election, by a considerable margin, Donald Trump has begun hiding from staff in the White House in a desperate attempt to remain President.
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Qanon Revealed to be Mountain Dew Marketing Campaign
Published October 2020WASHINGTON, D.C. – In a shocking Post-Election revelation, the source of the mysterious Qanon conspiracy theory has been revealed to be the marketing team for the soft drink Mountain Dew.
![President Trump has locked himself in a White House bunker after screaming that he has seen a ghost.](https://thescoopnews.com/news/images/414t.png)
Trump Refuses to Come Out of Bunker After Seeing Ghost
Published November 2020WASHINGTON, D.C. – According to multiple sources within the White House, President Trump has been hiding in a bunker since Halloween after he reported seeing “a ghost.”
![Lisa Huller is considering several different excuses for not voting for Biden.](https://thescoopnews.com/news/images/413t.png)
White, Suburban Woman Still Considering Excuses to Not Vote for Biden
Published September 2020LANSING, MI – Local white, suburban, mother, Lisa Huller, is still considering several different excuses to not vote for the Democratic Presidential nominee Joe Biden.
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