God Defends Using Floods, Again, to Punish Humans
Published November 2026 0 Comments | Share:
God is facing criticism for using the same event over and over to punish humans.
Heaven – God is defending the use of floods after online criticism accused God of having a lack of creativity and recycling ideas.
“I saw an area of the world that needed a reminder that I’m still in charge and so I created an El Nino to flood the shit out of the place,” said God. “But just because I used a flood to punish some people, again, it doesn’t mean that I don’t have new ideas or that I’m like… lazy or something. I was just busy and I needed to take care of those people real fast so I just sent a quick flood while I figure out my next move. I’m not cooked! I’m still alpha! And I’m def not lazy.”
Over the past several weeks God has used the El Niño weather phenomena to send devastating floods to the southwest United States. While the floods have been devastating, several people have complained online that God is reusing old ideas and has been “phoning it in for the last couple years.”
“When we gonna stop pretending God ain’t done? Floods? Again? In 2026? Bro, get a new game!” said Reddit user, PounderGuts676767. “That shit might have been bangin’ back in the day when they didn’t have the internet, or even entertainment, but now we got Tik Tok, and floods don’t impress anyone.”
This is not the first time God has received complaints about reusing previous events. In 2020 God was accused of recycling the idea of a plague with the covid 19 pandemic.
“(God) just uses the same things over and over again,” said Tik Tok influencer, GabbyDeezNuts67. “It’s always floods and plagues, plagues and floods. If I was God I’d be on some new shit and not just like ‘bam, flood.’ It’s not the olden times anymore. We demand some new shit. Give us new shit God. If I see one more flood I’m gonna start worshiping Satan. For reals. And I mean for real, not reels. Though I could totes make some hype reels about worshiping Big Daddy S!”
Critics have pointed out that there are several new, unused ways to devastate the earth without having to rely on the same set for centuries.
“Yo, it’s ya boy LigmaNutz! Here’s what God needs to do next time he needs to punish some muthafuckers,” said Instagram user LigmaNutz676767. “Number one, phones stop working. Number two, dinosaurs come back to life and start munchin people. Number… what comes after two? Flive? Number flive, Harley’s comet comes and like, blows up Kansas City! Yo, that’d be based!”
Fans of God have defended his reliance on previous events, saying they “love to see the hits.”
“It just feels good to know what to expect every once in a while,” said Pastor Jim Fry, Vancouver, BC. “With all these new things coming out like reels, and the Faceblock and MyFace, it’s comforting to know that in a few years, all of these annoying ass kids are going to die in a flood or plague. It’s like when you get a new record from your favorite band, and you say, ‘Ok, it’s… fine I guess’ and then you just go back and listen to ‘Born on a Pirate Ship’ again for the millionth time.”
God said he remains open to all options, regardless of whether or not they’ve been used in the past.
“Look, I just got a lot on my plate right now, you know,” said God. “I got that jackass over there in Russia. I got that Jackass over there in Korea. And don’t even get me started on what’s going on in the US. Fuck that! So yeah, I went with an old standby. But believe me, I got some shit cookin’ that you are not going to believe! Stay tuned! And maybe stay away from coastal areas! But not because of floods.”
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