Kentucky Passes Law to Stop Trans Women from Giving Men Erections
Published March 2024FRANKFORT, KY – The Kentucky Senate has passed a new bill making it illegal for trans women to give men erections.
Local Man Spends Holiday Parties Explaining When He Purchased His Tesla
Published January 2024SEATTLE, WA – A local Tesla owner, Mike Velenski, spent a large portion of recent holiday parties explaining to family and coworkers that he purchased the vehicle before finding out Elon Musk is a complete dipshit.
God Planning to "Wrap It Up" By End of 2024
Published January 2024HEAVEN – During his annual New Year’s Day address to Earth, God said he is planning to “wrap it up” in 2024.
Expert Offers Seven Winter Holiday Costume Ideas
Published December 2023LOS ANGELES, CA – To assist those still in need of a costume, The Scoop News has surveyed a leading holiday expert and gathered a list of fresh and fun costume ideas.
Local Reporter Sitting Around Waiting for Next Tik Tok Trend to Appear
Published October 2023PHOENIX, AZ – Local reporter Denise Holman is waiting for the next Tik Tok trend to present itself so she can report on it.
Buzzfeed Article Proves Local Man Has No Joy in His Life
Published September 2023MISSOULA, MT – Thanks to a recent article on the click bait website BuzzFeed, Jason Strooper has realized that he may not have any more joy left in his life.
Study: Most Chronically Single Men are Total Dipshits
Published September 2023SAN FRANCISCO, CA – A new study from a team of researchers at Stanford University has found that a large majority of single men remain single because they are “dipshits.”
Zelenskyy Asks Taylor Swift for Help in War Against Russia
Published October 2023KYIV, UKRAINE – Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy has formally requested military assistance from the world’s largest army – Taylor Swift’s Swifty Army.
New Florida Law Requires Textbooks to State Civil War Was Fought Over Cola Choice
Published September 2023TALLAHASSEE, FL – Florida lawmakers have passed a new law that requires all textbooks used by publicly funded schools to be changed to say the American Civil War was fought over the choice of cola drinks.
New Summer Fashion Tips for 2023
Published March 2023LOS ANGELES, CA – This summer’s fashion trends are beginning to hit store shelves and to help guide readers to make the best choices, The Scoop News has asked several leading fashion industry experts to weigh in on the hottest summer styles.