WASHINGTON D.C. – The cast of popular MTV reality show “Real World: Washington D.C.” decided Thursday to again remove one of its members. The housemates have asked fellow member Pat Buchanan to leave the house on his own or he will be kicked out.
Buchanan has been a member of the cast for 3 days and his departure marks the quickest dismissal of a cast member in the show’s long history.
“Oh my God, was that guy a prick.” said Rancie Delwayne, Real World cast member. “Like the day he got here he immediately began petitioning the other members of the house to get the Hispanic camera guy deported back to Mexico and an American put in his place. I mean, first of all Joe is from Portland and his parents aren’t even from Mexico. Buchanan is a turd. Then he went off on a homeless guy living on the side of the house. All yelling at him to get a job and what not. That dude has like, some serious issues.”
Producers of the show had hoped the addition of Buchanan to the cast would stir up some conflict and boost ratings. Buchanan was brought onto the show to replace another cast member, Jerimiah Davis, who was kicked off the show for making disparaging remarks about “MTV’s bread and butter,” the Backstreet Boys and Britney Spears. The search for Buchanan’s replacement has already begun.
“Well, we all knew what we were doing so I can’t really say that this comes as a complete surprise,” said show producer/director Jackson Meced. “We were at least hoping he would make it through half the season. But that guy needs some help. For real. He was trying to make the others wear uniforms around the house and refer to him as Das Fuer.”
According to roommates on the show, the final decision was made during an impromptu meeting while Buchanan was on retreat with his “Buchanan’s Youth” boys club.
“I just don’t understand how those whiney little brats could have kicked me out,” said Buchanan. “This has to be some kind of conspiracy. Come on, I was by far the most powerful presence in that house, I could have crushed each one of those whiney little brats individually or I could have crushed them as one big whiney little brat pile of shit. Man I hated those whiney little brats, especially that little poofter Peter. And I swear to God, if he ever tells you that he blew me in the green room, he’s a damn dirty liar.”
“Real World: Washington D.C.” airs on MTV Monday through Sunday 6 am to 2 pm and again at 5 pm to 3 am daily.