Remembering Those We Lost in 2023
Published January 2024SAN FRANCISCO, CA – As the new year dawns, it’s time to look back on those we lost in 2023. The Scoop News has decided to honor some of The Scoop News Staff that passed away last year in brief memoriam.
Old Punk Guitarist Really Wishes He Sold Out
Published October 2021BALTIMORE, MD – The former guitarist of a punk band has admitted that he wishes he had sold out when given the opportunity years ago.
Random Tweets Reported as Actual News
Published July 2018NEW YORK, NY – Following current industry standards The Scoop News editorial staff have selected random tweets to report as actual news, instead of working, interviewing, and writing about current events.
Due to the overall laziness of journalists, posting tweets as news has become the primary template for most news organizations. For example, here is a tweet where a writer is writing a new book, or perhaps poem about tigers.
Due to the overall laziness of journalists, posting tweets as news has become the primary template for most news organizations. For example, here is a tweet where a writer is writing a new book, or perhaps poem about tigers.
New Documentary Shows Danger Posed by Babies
Published August 2014LOS ANGELES, CA – A new documentary highlighting the danger of babies is causing a series of protests and calls for tighter restrictions on owning a baby.
ODB Hologram Arrested, Fathers Four Children
Published June 2013MISSOULA, MT – The hologram of deceased rapper Ol’ Dirty Bastard was arrested twice and fathered four children during last month’s Shamalabam Music Festival.
The Ol’ Dirty Bastard hologram appeared during the Wu-Tang Clan rap group’s set.
“We can confirm that the rapper hologram Ol’ Dirty Bastard was arrested twice this past weekend,” said Missoula Police Department Spokesman Terri Bobrovsky.
Microsoft Says Congress Wants to Ban Phones
Published January 2013SEATTLE, WA – Spokespeople for Microsoft have begun telling customers that the United States government will soon prohibit the sales of Microsoft Windows phones so customers should stock up on the phones now, while they are still available.
“The government is gonna come in to our homes and take away our Microsoft Windows phones!” said Microsoft employee Racheal Gregor.
Consumer Reports Top Toys: Past, Present
Published November 2012CHICAGO, IL — Over the past years Consumer Reports has provided parents with a valuable list: the hottest toys for the upcoming Holiday season. Retailers across the country often stock up on the highlighted toys in order to satisfy the anticipated high demand and hopefully minimize the violent incidents that have happened in the past between crazed parents.
Local Man Serious About End-of-the-World Bucket List
Published July 2012CASPER, WY – A local man told friends and family this week that he is ready to get serious about his bucket list.
Local Grandmother Doesn’t Understand the Kony Thing
Published May 2012ORLANDO, FL – Although her family members and friends have tried to explain it, local Grandmother Helen LaFornte doesn’t understand “the Kony thing.”
Roman God of Wealth Eyeing GOP Nomination
Published July 2011WASHINGTON, D.C. – As the Republicans begins picking their Presidential candidate, one person is very rapidly becoming the front-runner: the Roman god of wealth.
