BOGOTA, COLOMBIA – In an effort to draw tourists to the country, Columbia will open it’s first ski resort featuring cocaine rather than snow.

PORTLAND, OR – Local man, Scott Hackerst, is pretty sure he can sell a bowling shirt he found at his uncle’s house for $80.

NORTH POLE – After testing positive for COVID-19, Santa Claus has been receiving a controversial new treatment that includes the souls of 450 children, among other ingredients, to help Claus recover from the deadly disease.

NORTH POLE – Authors of a new book about Rudolph the “red-nosed reindeer” promise to change the way the Christmas icon is remembered.

NEW YORK CITY – The travel magazine, Destination Awesome, has released its list of the top five 2015 Spring Break destinations.

This year, instead of making resolutions that are bound to fail, I’ve put together some life hacks that are easy to stick to and will make you a better person.

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Almost 30 years after the release of Crack Cocaine, the Central Intelligence Agency is releasing an updated, diet version of the popular drug.

According to a spokesman at the CIA, the new diet Crack cocaine will be marketed under the name DCrack and will follow a similar marketing strategy as the current Crack, which will now be marketed as Original Crack.

NEW YORK CITY, NY – During a recent interview on the Piers Morgan Tonight television show, God admitted that he responds to celebrity and athlete’s prayers before others – even before his most dedicated followers.

“I’m not going to sit here and lie to you, do I answer the prayers of someone like Johnny Depp or… Phillip Rivers before I answer the prayers from some no-name guy from Arkansas? Yes. Yes I do,” said God.

TEHRAN, IRAN – In an effort to improve its image with the rest of the global community, Iran has announced plans to make several modifications to its current government policies.

WASHINGTON, D.C. – In an effort to draw more tourists to the nation’s capitol, the Mayor of Washington, D.C., Anthony Williams, has announced plans to open an interactive museum devoted to the city’s most famous product, crack cocaine.