Super-Shammy May Solve Man's Probems
Published May 2009LITTLE ROCK, AK – After viewing a commercial for the Super-Shammy, a super absorbent towel, Kurt Williams is convinced that the product is the solution to all his life problems.
Heavens Gate Members Contact Earth From Starship
Published July 2002VORGON 9 – Just over five years ago, a rag tag group of misfits with ideas of UFO’s and castration took the United States by storm, but then seemingly vanished into thin air shortly after their bodies were found after what appeared to be a mass suicide. But Tuesday, in an announcement broadcast from beyond our solar system and picked up via satellite TV, members of the Heavens Gate cult announced that they finally reached the spaceship and are in fact not dead.
Aliens to Phase Out Abductions, Probings
Published March 2002NEW YORK CITY, NY – In an announcement made from the steps of the United Nations building, representatives of seven alien races have stated that they have put an immediate stop to all human abductions and anal probing. The proclamation is the result of recent allegations that the aliens have in fact learned everything they can about the human body and the intricacies of the human digestive tract.
Aliens: "Not About Sex"
Published March 2000WILMINGTON, WY – After years of searching and mass speculation centering around extraterrestrial visitors to earth, a race of alien beings has revealed themselves for the first time at the Wilmington Ramada Inn.
Mexico Ready To Join Space Race
Published July 1999MEXICO CITY, MEXICO – Earlier this week, a representative from the Mexican Government stunned the world with his announcement of Mexico’s plan to compete with the U.S. and Russia in space exploration.
The announcement, held outside of the Presidential palace, held about it a aura of joy and wonder.
“We feel that it is time that our attention was turned to the skies,” Juan Sanchez, Special Aid to the President, said.