Scoop List: Top 10 Best Hamburgers in America
Published February 2017The Scoop News has traveled around America tasting every burger in every state, and now we’ve compiled a list of our favorites. Here are The Scoop News’ top 10 burgers in America.
Nautilus’ New Equipment Designed to Sit in Garage
Published January 2017VANCOUVER, WA – Workout equipment manufacturer Nautilus has released a new home gym exercise machine that is designed to sit in the garage gathering dust for five years before going up for sale on Craigslist.
Trump Signs Order to Limit Number of Words
Published February 2017WASHINGTON, DC – One of Donald Trump’s first actions as President of the United States was sign an Executive Order reducing the total number of words in the English language to 150.
“Trump is a dumb, dumb person and as such he does not know very many words,” said White House Press Secretary, Sean Spicer.
“Trump is a dumb, dumb person and as such he does not know very many words,” said White House Press Secretary, Sean Spicer.
Guide to This Holiday Season’s Hottest Toys
Published December 2016LOS ANGELES, CA – Getting children the perfect gift if always the hardest part of any holiday season – especially when there are so many toys and games to choose from. To help parents through this stressful time of the year, The Scoop News has compiled a list of this holiday season’s hottest toys.
Pokémon Added to Endangered Species List
Published August 2016WASHINGTON, D.C. – The Pokémon Dewgong, a white sea lion like creature, has been added to Endangered Species list the by the International Union for Conservation of Nature.
The creature has been hunted to near extinction in recent weeks as a result of the popularity of the Pokémon Go game.
“In a lot of ways Pokémon Go has been the worst thing to happen to this world but it has been specifically terrible to the poor little Dewgong,” said Pokémon scientist Kellie Peters.
Beyoncé Releases New Surprise 17-minute Long Track
Published May 2016NEW YORK, NY – Beyoncé has delighted her fans with a surprise release of a new 17-minute song called “Where the Hell Are My Damn Keys?”
After Long Winter, Dow Jones Plans to Get High
Published March 2016MANCHESTER, NH –William “Dow” Jones announced that he is coming out of a month’s long depression and plans to “get really, really high” soon.
The Scoop News' Top Ten Places to Live
Published January 2016NEW YORK, NY – There is a new city at the top of this year’s The Scoop News’ semi-annual list of best places to live although it may not come as a surprise to the people who live there.
Gypsy Responsible for Trump’s Sucsess Found
Published February 2016SPRINGFIELD, KY – The gypsy behind Donald Trumps continued political success has been located and captured by Federal agents.
“We can proudly say that this nightmare that we’ve been living the last several months is almost at an end,” said FBI Special Agent, Carmine Caruso.
Local Kid Struggles to Explain Why Hanukkah is “Cool”
Published November 2015SAN JOSE, CA – Local Jewish boy James Kirkwood has been struggling to explain to his Christian friends why Hanukkah is better than Christmas.
