DETROIT, MI – After failing to make the first Super Bowl appearance in the team’s history, the Detroit Loins have announced a blockbuster trade – sending wide receiver Josh Reynolds to New York for rapper and singer Nicki Minaj.

SEATTLE, WA – A local Tesla owner, Mike Velenski, spent a large portion of recent holiday parties explaining to family and coworkers that he purchased the vehicle before finding out Elon Musk is a complete dipshit.

HEAVEN – During his annual New Year’s Day address to Earth, God said he is planning to “wrap it up” in 2024.

SAN FRANCISCO, CA – As the new year dawns, it’s time to look back on those we lost in 2023. The Scoop News has decided to honor some of The Scoop News Staff that passed away last year in brief memoriam.

LOS ANGELES, CA – To assist those still in need of a costume, The Scoop News has surveyed a leading holiday expert and gathered a list of fresh and fun costume ideas.

LINCOLN, NE – Local man, Dean Jeffries, is looking forward to sharing his thoughts and views on the Israel-Hamas war with his coworkers at the upcoming office holiday party.

ATLANTA, GA – It may seem as though Dean Jeffries in accounting is an open book but there are many things about Jeffries that many people do not know. To that end, The Scoop News has identified 10 things about Jeffries that people may find surprising.

PHOENIX, AZ – Local reporter Denise Holman is waiting for the next Tik Tok trend to present itself so she can report on it.

WASHINGTON D.C., – Although severe cases and hospitalizations have decreased in recent months, scientists are the Center for Disease Control (CDC) say that COVID is still a valid excuse to not see relatives at Thanksgiving.

MISSOULA, MT – Thanks to a recent article on the click bait website BuzzFeed, Jason Strooper has realized that he may not have any more joy left in his life.