![](https://thescoopnews.com/news/images/364t.png)
![Countries will compete in a new Olympic sport by keeping a balloon from touching the ground.](https://thescoopnews.com/news/images/532t.png)
Summer Olympics Adds New Keep Balloon From Hitting the Floor Sport
Published June 2024PARIS, FRANCE – A new sport will be added to this year’s Summer Olympic games – Keep the Balloon Off the Floor, also known as “Balloon Bop.”
![](https://thescoopnews.com/news/images/509t.png)
Zelenskyy Asks Taylor Swift for Help in War Against Russia
Published October 2023KYIV, UKRAINE – Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy has formally requested military assistance from the world’s largest army – Taylor Swift’s Swifty Army.
![The map of men orbiting around an attractive woman at a gym.](https://thescoopnews.com/news/images/478t.png)
Researchers Map Orbit of Men Around Attractive Women at Gyms
Published October 2022DENVER, CO – Scientists at the University of Denver have mapped, for the first time, the orbit of men around an attractive woman at a gym.
![](https://thescoopnews.com/news/images/460t.png)
New Swiffer Lets People Clean Using Their Pets
Published February 2022CINCINNATI, OH – Procter & Gamble has released a new version of the Swiffer Sweeper that attaches to small animals and will allow customers to use their pets to clean floors.
![A new poll conducted by Stanford University has found that 84% of Americans "just can't anymore."](https://thescoopnews.com/news/images/453t.png)
New Poll Finds Majority of Americans Just Can't Anymore
Published January 2022WASHINGTON, D.C. – According to a recent poll, the number of Americans that just can’t anymore is at an all-time high.
![](https://thescoopnews.com/news/images/451t.png)
Santa Claus Will Not Accept Lists Containing Ivermectin
Published December 2021NORTH POLE – Santa Claus has announced that he will no longer accept children’s Christmas lists that contain Ivermectin, hydroxychloroquine, or Z-pack.
![Former member of The Watchmen, Adrian Veidt, also known as Ozymandias, says he created and released the COVID-19 virus in order to unite humanity against a single threat.](https://thescoopnews.com/news/images/440t.png)
Adrian Veidt Admits Plan to Unify Humanity by Releasing COVID-19 has Failed
Published August 2021NEW YORK, NY – Former superhero and the smartest man in the world, Adrian Veidt, also known as Ozymandias, admitted to engineering and releasing the COVID-19 virus in an effort to bring the people of earth together.
![](https://thescoopnews.com/news/images/431t.png)
U.S. Sets New Record of COVID Deniers Contracting COVID
Published April 2021WASHINGTON, D.C. – The United States of America set a new COVID record as the number of people who claimed the pandemic was a hoax only to then get infected by COVID rose to over two million.
![Jacob Gregory has successfully mentioned that he owns a Tesla in every conversation he's had since purchasing a Tesla.](https://thescoopnews.com/news/images/432t.png)
Tesla Owner Successfully Mentions He Owns a Tesla in Every Conversation
Published April 2021SAN FRANCISCO, CA – Local Tesla owner, Jacob Gregory, has successfully worked the fact that he owns a Tesla into every conversation he’s had since purchasing the vehicle in late 2020.
![A fight erupted between cardboard cutouts of fans when one cutout accidentally fell on to another.](https://thescoopnews.com/news/images/426t.png)
Cardboard Cutouts Start Fight at Philadelphia Flyers Hockey Game
Published February 2021PHILADELPHIA, PA – Several cardboard cutouts of fans started a brawl during a recent Philadelphia Flyers hockey game.
![](https://thescoopnews.com/graphics/blue_triangle.png)