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![Reporter Denise Holman lazily scrolls through Tik Tok as she waits for a new trend to appear.](https://thescoopnews.com/news/images/513t.png)
Local Reporter Sitting Around Waiting for Next Tik Tok Trend to Appear
Published October 2023PHOENIX, AZ – Local reporter Denise Holman is waiting for the next Tik Tok trend to present itself so she can report on it.
![The map of men orbiting around an attractive woman at a gym.](https://thescoopnews.com/news/images/478t.png)
Researchers Map Orbit of Men Around Attractive Women at Gyms
Published October 2022DENVER, CO – Scientists at the University of Denver have mapped, for the first time, the orbit of men around an attractive woman at a gym.
![Mike Rapide says he is going to take a break from constantly owning Libs.](https://thescoopnews.com/news/images/472t.png)
Local Man to Take a Break from Owning Libs
Published August 2022PRESCOTT, AZ – A local Republican says he’s getting a bored “constantly owning all the libs” and is considering taking some time off to focus on himself.
![Beginning this month, ESPN will offer a new simulcast cast during NFL games featuring a drunk, racist uncle.](https://thescoopnews.com/news/images/452t.png)
ESPN Launches New DRUncle Cast for NFL Games
Published January 2022NEW YORK, NY – Following the success of the “Manning Cast” for NFL games, ESPN will be launching a new live commentary option for professional sporting events featuring drunk, racist uncles.
![Facebook U will offer Facebook users the chance to obtain degrees in "research," "whataboutism," and "Foreign Policy."](https://thescoopnews.com/news/images/443t.png)
Facebook Launches Degree Program to Validate Facebook Users’ Posts, Comments
Published October 2021SAN FRANCISCO, CA – Beginning next month, Facebook will begin offering degree and postgraduate degree programs to Facebook users.
![Winston (above) and Joshua Castellino have not been invited to a party or family event in over a year.](https://thescoopnews.com/news/images/438t.png)
Local Ventriloquist No Longer Invited to Parties
Published July 2021LAKEWOOD, CO – Local ventriloquist, Joshua Castellino, is no longer invited to parties due to refusal to leave his dummy, Winston, at home.
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Social Media Companies to Allow Users to Opt-Out of Becoming Racist
Published May 2021SAN FRANCISCO, CA – After months of social and political pressure, social media companies will soon begin offering an option that will allow users to decline becoming racist.
![Lisa Huller is considering several different excuses for not voting for Biden.](https://thescoopnews.com/news/images/413t.png)
White, Suburban Woman Still Considering Excuses to Not Vote for Biden
Published September 2020LANSING, MI – Local white, suburban, mother, Lisa Huller, is still considering several different excuses to not vote for the Democratic Presidential nominee Joe Biden.
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Local Man's Friends Still Haven't Listened to His Podcast
Published January 2020AUSTIN, TX –Despite numerous reminders of its existence, friends of local man Cameron Gluick have still not listened to Gluick’spodcast.
![Netflix users across the country lost access to the site after a Michigan grandmother changed her password.](https://thescoopnews.com/news/images/379t.png)
700,00 Netflix Users Locked Out after Grandma Changes Password
Published August 2019PORTLAND, OR – Netflix users suffered a major blackout after a grandmother in Michigan changed her password, locking over 720,000 people out of Netflix.
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