Companies are using incentives such as on-site clowns to lure employees back in to the office.

Companies Offering New Incentives to Lure Employees Back to The Office

SAN FRANCISCO, CA – To incentivize reluctant employees to return to the office, companies are offering new in-office only perks like on-site clowns, monthly balloon parties, new glory holes, and free shrimp cocktail.


A group gathered at a local bar was surprised to learn that MTV is still on the air.

Group Shocked to Learn MTV Still on The Air

NEW YORK, NY – A mixed group of Millennials and Gen-Xers were shocked this week to learn that MTV is still on the air and broadcasting new content.


Newspaper's 900th Story Doesn't Live Up to Hype

PORTLAND, OR – The much anticipated and celebrated 900th story published by online satirical magazine The Scoop News, failed to make any positive impressions and left readers across the world concerned about the future of the newspaper


Fox News television personality Tucker Carlson told his viewers to drink bull semen to increase their testosterone.

Tucker Carlson Suggests Drinking Bull Semen to Increase Testosterone

NEW YORK, NY – To combat falling testosterone levels in American, white males, Fox News personality Tucker Carlson recommends drinking bull semen.


Lifting mask mandates has made it difficult for people to identify jerks.

Lifting Mask Mandates Makes It Difficult to Identify Jerks

DENVER, CO – As mask mandates across the country are lifted, many Americans are finding it more difficult to identify jerks.


God said he will no longer leave his children in charge when he takes a vacation.

God Apologizes for Leaving His Kids in Charge Last Seven Years

HEAVEN – After returning from vacation and seeing the state of Earth, God has promised to never again put his kids in charge while he is away.


A new law in Texas will make it illegal to make a white man feel uncomfortable.

Texas Law Makes It Illegal to Make a White Man Uncomfortable

AUSTIN, TX – Texas Governor Greg Abbott has signed a new law that makes it illegal to make a white man feel uncomfortable in any way.


New Swiffer Lets People Clean Using Their Pets

CINCINNATI, OH – Procter & Gamble has released a new version of the Swiffer Sweeper that attaches to small animals and will allow customers to use their pets to clean floors.


Brooks Brothers new line of work from home clothing will offer customers comfort and easy access to genitals.

Brooks Brothers Releases New Work From Home Line

NEW YORK, NY – Brooks Brothers has unveiled a new line of clothes designed for men who work from home but still want to present themselves as professional on video conference calls.


Scott Hackerst is planning on selling a bowling shirt that he got from his uncle.

Local Man Confident He Can Sell Bowling Shirt for $80

PORTLAND, OR – Local man, Scott Hackerst, is pretty sure he can sell a bowling shirt he found at his uncle’s house for $80.


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