Former Metal Guitarist Struggling to Update Linkdin Profile

MIDDLETOWN, NJ – Former heavy metal guitarist, Ken “Blood Face” Giacomo, has been updating his Linkdin profile for several days but has been struggling to include his experience as a musician.


Dungeons & Dragons Release New Serf Character Classes

SEATTLE, WA – The company behind the popular Dungeons & Dragons role playing game has announced a new expansion set giving players more options for character classes and new campaigns.


This Million Dollar Baby Fan Theory Changes Everything

LOS ANGELES, CA – The internet is abuzz with a new fan theory that will change the way you see the classic film Million Dollar Baby.


Disney Releasing Alt-Right Edit of The Last Jedi

HOLLYWOOD, CA – Hoping to win back white, male Star Wars fans, Disney is releasing a new edit of The Last Jedi with all non-white, male characters removed.


Are These Eight ‘Star Wars: The Last Jedi Rumors’ True?

HOLLYWOOD, CA – The new installment of the Star Wars franchise, Episode VIII, ‘The Last Jedi,’ is still several months away from hitting theaters but rumors about the plot have started hitting the internet.


Jennifer Lawrence Asks to be Removed from Bucket Lists

HOLLYWOOD, CA – Actress Jennifer Lawrence has asked every male on the planet Earth to remove her name from their individual bucket lists.


Musician Eager to Disappoint Fans with New Album

LOS ANGELES, CA – After selling over a million copies of her debut album, rocker Terra Tory is looking forward to the new year and is eager to disappoint both fans and critics alike with her new album.


World Still Does Not Know Who Let the Dogs Out

LOS ANGELES, CA – It has been 17 years since the question was first raised but investigators and the general public are still unsure who let the dogs out.


Beyoncé Releases New Surprise 17-minute Long Track

NEW YORK, NY – Beyoncé has delighted her fans with a surprise release of a new 17-minute song called “Where the Hell Are My Damn Keys?”


Man Proves Intelligence by Hating Star Wars

AUSTIN, TX – Occasional film viewer Kevin Mothma has proved his intelligence and sophistication by disliking the new film Star Wars: The Force Awakens.

“(Star Wars) The Force Awakens is shallow,” said Mothma. “The story is so pedestrian. There was nothing there. Just a bunch of loosely tied together action scenes. And the main girl in the movie, whatever her name is, was such a Mary Sue.”


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