NRA Congratulates High School Grads Who Somehow Made It to Graduation Without Getting Killed
Published April 2024ALEXANDRIA, VA – The National Rifle Association has sent congratulation cards to all graduating, American high school students congratulating them for making it through school without falling victim to gun violence.
FDA to Require Companies to Declare if Food Contains Souls of Children
Published April 2024WASHINGTON, D.C. – The United States Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has issued a new rule that requires companies to add a statement on product packaging declaring if the souls of children were used in a product.
10 Things People Don't Know About Dean in Accounting
Published October 2023ATLANTA, GA – It may seem as though Dean Jeffries in accounting is an open book but there are many things about Jeffries that many people do not know. To that end, The Scoop News has identified 10 things about Jeffries that people may find surprising.
Local Reporter Sitting Around Waiting for Next Tik Tok Trend to Appear
Published October 2023PHOENIX, AZ – Local reporter Denise Holman is waiting for the next Tik Tok trend to present itself so she can report on it.
Colombia Opens Ski Resort Using Cocaine Instead of Snow
Published February 2023BOGOTA, COLOMBIA – In an effort to draw tourists to the country, Columbia will open it’s first ski resort featuring cocaine rather than snow.
Google To Use Mothers to Teach New AI Interface
Published March 2023SEATTLE, WA – Google has announced a shift in strategy for the company’s Artificial Intelligence (AI) interface, relying on mothers instead of the internet to help inform AI decision making.
Researchers Map Orbit of Men Around Attractive Women at Gyms
Published October 2022DENVER, CO – Scientists at the University of Denver have mapped, for the first time, the orbit of men around an attractive woman at a gym.
FDA Adds New “Fewd” Category for Taco Bell Menu Items
Published April 2022WASHINGTON, D.C. – The Food and Drug Administration announced this week that it has created a new product category, “fewd,” to describe items found on Taco Bell’s menu.
Tucker Carlson Suggests Drinking Bull Semen to Increase Testosterone
Published May 2022NEW YORK, NY – To combat falling testosterone levels in American, white males, Fox News personality Tucker Carlson recommends drinking bull semen.
Local Man Still Wearing Fedora For Some Reason
Published August 2021LOS ANGELES, CA – A local Pasadena man is still wearing a fedora hat in publi