PORTLAND, OR – The much anticipated and celebrated 900th story published by online satirical magazine The Scoop News, failed to make any positive impressions and left readers across the world concerned about the future of the newspaper

NEW YORK, NY – To combat falling testosterone levels in American, white males, Fox News personality Tucker Carlson recommends drinking bull semen.

CINCINNATI, OH – Procter & Gamble has released a new version of the Swiffer Sweeper that attaches to small animals and will allow customers to use their pets to clean floors.

LAS VEGAS, NV – Several of the largest sports betting apps will soon allow users to contact individual athletes directly through the app.

BALTIMORE, MD – The former guitarist of a punk band has admitted that he wishes he had sold out when given the opportunity years ago.

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Senators Joe Manchin and Kyrsten Sinema have proposed changes to the funding of the infrastructure bill.

LOS ANGELES, CA – A local Pasadena man is still wearing a fedora hat in publi

CHICAGO, IL – In a new survey of children ages five to 15, a majority of children said they wanted to be an NFT when they grow up.

LAKEWOOD, CO – Local ventriloquist, Joshua Castellino, is no longer invited to parties due to refusal to leave his dummy, Winston, at home.

The coworkers of Ben Magnerson still do not want to hear about Magnerson’s Dungeons and Dragons game.