After realizing they can pay women and minorities less, companies are bringing back DEI initiatives.

Companies Bringing Back DEI After Realizing Women, Minorities Can be Paid Less

NEW YORK, NY – Companies across the country have been reinstituting Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI) campaigns after realizing women and minorities can be paid less than white men.


Local Man Switches from Democrat to Right-Wing Conservative After Negative Feedback

DETROIT, MI – Local man Eric Blumenthal has changed his political beliefs from Democrat to far right-wing Conservative after receiving some negative feedback on a recent performance review.


The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse will tour this year for the first time since 1347.

The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse Reunite, Announce Final Tour

MIAMI, FL – The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse have announced they are reuniting for one final world tour this year.


Terry Cooke says that on any given day his childhood is ruined 12 to 13 times.

Local Man Has His Childhood Ruined 13 Times a Day

CHARLOTTE, NC – Local man Terry Cooke, 46, says he has had his childhood ruined 12 to 13 times a day for the past several years.


Several new image filters have been added to the iPhone that are designed to edit and enhance dick pics - including adding small hats to the dick.

Apple Adds New iPhone Image Filters for Dick Pics

SAN FRANCISCO, CA –Apple has announced it will soon add new photo filters specifically designed for dick pics.


McDonald's will be adding 23 new fees to customer's bills.

McDonald's Cuts Price of Food But Add New Fees

CHICAGO, IL – In response to complaints about high prices, McDonald’s announced plans to reduce the price of menu items but add new service fees.


To attract vampires and organ harvesters, Tinder will expand user profiles to include blood type and organ heath.

Tinder Expanding User Profiles to Include Blood Type and Organ Health

LOS ANGELES, CA – The popular dating app Tinder is planning on expanding to a new market by allowing users to list their blood type and organ health within the app.


Northern Arizona University will offer a new degree program to teach students about making, maintaining, and pairings of meth.

University to Offer New Meth Sommelier Degree

FLAGSTAFF, AZ– Northern Arizona University (NAU) has announced a new degree program which it hopes will attract new students – Meth Sommelier.


Phillip Staal is still waiting for everyone that received the COVID vaccine to die so he can be right about his conspiracy theory.

Local Conspiracy Theorist Still Waiting to be Right About COVID Vaccine

COLORADO SPRINGS, CO – Local conspiracy theorist says he is patiently waiting to be correct about the COVID vaccine killing millions.


Investigative reporters have discovered JD Vance is an AI generated person.

JD Vance Discovered to be AI Generated

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Republican Vice Presidential candidate J.D. Vance has been revealed to be an artificial intelligence generated person.


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