

Woman’s Athletic Accomplishments Immediately Compared to Every Male Athlete’s Accomplishments
Published May 2024DES MOINES, IA – After a record-breaking collegiate career, woman’s college basketball player Caitlin Clark’s accomplishments have been compared to the accomplishments of every male athlete ever.

Sudan Looking Forward to Inevitable Delivery of Stanley Cups
Published March 2024KHARTOUM, SUDAN–The people of Sudan say they are looking forward to the pending influx of free Stanley cups as the popularity of the large travel cups has begun to subside in the United States of America.

Buzzfeed Article Proves Local Man Has No Joy in His Life
Published September 2023MISSOULA, MT – Thanks to a recent article on the click bait website BuzzFeed, Jason Strooper has realized that he may not have any more joy left in his life.

Florida Changing State Motto to "White Place, White Time"
Published February 2023TALLAHASSEE, FL – Florida Governor Ron DeSantis has announced a change to Florida’s state motto. As of March 1, 2023, the new Florida state motto will be “White Place, White Time.”

Colombia Opens Ski Resort Using Cocaine Instead of Snow
Published February 2023BOGOTA, COLOMBIA – In an effort to draw tourists to the country, Columbia will open it’s first ski resort featuring cocaine rather than snow.

Twitter to Ban Hate Speech Aimed at Rich People
Published January 2023SAN FRANCISCO, CA – After months of increasing hate speech on the platform, Twitter has announced it will begin blocking hate speech directed at rich people.

Lotto Winner Planning to Buy Politician
Published August 2022TOLEDO, OH – The winner of the recent Mega Millions lottery jackpot said she plans to purchase her very own politician with the winnings.

FDA Adds New “Fewd” Category for Taco Bell Menu Items
Published April 2022WASHINGTON, D.C. – The Food and Drug Administration announced this week that it has created a new product category, “fewd,” to describe items found on Taco Bell’s menu.

Manchin and Sinema Propose Taxing Minecraft Players to Pay for Infrastructure Bill
Published November 2021WASHINGTON, D.C. – Senators Joe Manchin and Kyrsten Sinema have proposed changes to the funding of the infrastructure bill.

Global Warming Traced to Florida Grandmother's Thermostat
Published April 2021BOCA RATON, FL – Scientist have traced climate change, specifically global warming, to a grandmother’s thermostat in Florida.
