Eminem, Jimmy Carter Square Off With Accusations

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LOS ANGELES, CA – The war of words between current Rap bestseller Eminem and former President of the United States Jimmy Carter escalated this week as both released new singles taking verbal jabs at the other.

The feud, which began two weeks ago when Eminem referred to Carter in a single released last year as “a bad President and worse golfer,” has both the rap world and political world ablaze with controversy and animosity towards the other. This new tiff adds to a long line or public feuds between Enimen and a large assortment of celebrities.

“Now see, I just don’t get it,” Carter said. “We played golf together, and I thought we got along pretty well. And he only beat me by three strokes. Then all of a sudden he comes out with that song. Why, I was just furious as all heck. So I did the only thing I knew how; I dissed him right back in a song of my own. He ain’t the only white boy that can rap, let me tell you.”

Carter’s rebuttal was a parody of Eminem’s song “I’m Sorry Mama,” in which Carter, with the help of a funny voice, changed the songs chorus form “I’m cleaning out my closet,” to “I’m coming out the closet.” Carter continued, questioning Eminem’s sexuality throughout the song even going as far as saying that he and Elton John had a three-way with Andy Dick after the 1999 Grammy Awards.

“I figured that I’d play on Em’s homophobic attitudes, show him that I didn’t appreciate the golf crack. And if I can say so, I think I sounded a lot like him when I sang that part,” Carter said. “Anyways, I figured that would be the end of it. He got me, then I got him back. But apparently, Mr. Big-Shot-I-Carry-An-Un-Loaded-Gun-With-Me-In-Case-I-Run-Into-One-Of-The-Millions-Of-People-Who-Hate-Me can’t let things go. I still can’t believe that he had the nerve to release an entire song about me and my brother Billy.”

Shortly after the release of Carter’s single, Eminem fired back more aggressively then he has in the past with an entire album of songs mocking the former President.

“Yeah I put that out. He can’t be runnin’ his mouth if he ain’t gonna play the game. I made a crack at his backswing and he calls me a fag. I gotta stand up for myself so that old fucker can go molest himself a terrorist,” Eminem said. “See, I’m from the street, and that’s how we does things in the street. Someone calls you a damn dirty ‘mo, you gotta talk about how he and his retarded brother Billy used ta play ‘Hide the Lincoln Logs.’ You see what I’m sayin’? And that what I did, ‘cus I’m hardcore‚Ķ and black.”

While not explaining his plan in detail, Carter admitted that he had another rebuttal in mind.

“I’m tossing a few things around, much like Feminem tosses the old salad every night,” Carter said. “But seriously, I’m in the process of turning ‘Without Me’ in to a homo laden sexual romp between Eminem and Osama Bin Laden. It should turn out to be pretty good.”

Eminem’s album entitled Jimmy Carter is a Big Fat Jerk was released last week and Carter’s as yet untitled follow-up is scheduled for release sometime in the next month.


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