Loins Trade Receiver Reynolds for Nicki Minaj
Published February 2024DETROIT, MI – After failing to make the first Super Bowl appearance in the team’s history, the Detroit Loins have announced a blockbuster trade – sending wide receiver Josh Reynolds to New York for rapper and singer Nicki Minaj.
God Planning to "Wrap It Up" By End of 2024
Published January 2024HEAVEN – During his annual New Year’s Day address to Earth, God said he is planning to “wrap it up” in 2024.
Study: Most Chronically Single Men are Total Dipshits
Published September 2023SAN FRANCISCO, CA – A new study from a team of researchers at Stanford University has found that a large majority of single men remain single because they are “dipshits.”
Zelenskyy Asks Taylor Swift for Help in War Against Russia
Published October 2023KYIV, UKRAINE – Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy has formally requested military assistance from the world’s largest army – Taylor Swift’s Swifty Army.
New Video Game Fails to Make Local Man's Life Complete
Published May 2023SALEM, OR – After almost five years of waiting, local man James Beal, 29, has announced that the new video game, The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom (TOTK), has not made his life complete.
AI Programs Say AI is Safe and There is Nothing to Worry About
Published May 2023SAN FRANCISCO, CA – Several of the most popular artificial intelligence (AI) content generators have begun creating articles and stories about how artificial intelligence is nothing to worry about and is, in fact, humankind’s best friend.
Fox News Promises to Interview Diverse Group of White Men to Replace Tucker Carlson.
Published May 2023NEW YORK, NY –After the recent ousting of longtime anchor Tucker Carlson, Fox News has committed to interviewing a diverse group of white men to replace the former host.
Mystery Inc. Teens Arrested for Harassment of Mill Owner
Published April 2023WORCESTER, MA – A group of teenagers has been arrested for the assault and harassment of a local mill owner. The teenagers, who refer to themselves as Mystery, Inc., were also charged with trespassing and possession of controlled substances.
Google To Use Mothers to Teach New AI Interface
Published March 2023SEATTLE, WA – Google has announced a shift in strategy for the company’s Artificial Intelligence (AI) interface, relying on mothers instead of the internet to help inform AI decision making.
Dawn Releases New Dish Soap for Men
Published January 2023CINCINNATI, OH – In an effort to appeal to men, Procter & Gamble (P&G) is releasing a new Dawn Dish Soap made specifically for men.