Beginning next season, every visible surface will be covered in ads.

NHL to Cover Every Available Surface in Advertisements

TORONTO, CANADA – The NHL announced that starting next year advertising will be added to every available spot on the ice, boards, and uniforms.


A new line of Dawn Dish Soap aimed at men will soon be available.

Dawn Releases New Dish Soap for Men

CINCINNATI, OH – In an effort to appeal to men, Procter & Gamble (P&G) is releasing a new Dawn Dish Soap made specifically for men.


Local Man's Friends Still Haven't Listened to His Podcast

AUSTIN, TX –Despite numerous reminders of its existence, friends of local man Cameron Gluick have still not listened to Gluick’spodcast.


Budweiser To Sponsor Local Man's Liver Disease

ST. LOUIS, MO – Budweiser Brewing Company has signed a contract that could revolutionize the marketing and promotion or alcoholic beverages. The deal, which will see Budweiser sponsoring a local man’s liver disease, is said to be worth in the neighborhood of $2.3 million.


Supreme Court Rules in Favor of False Advertising

WASHINTON, D.C. – In a controversial ruling, the United States Supreme Court eased legislation to allow companies more freedom when advertising products and services including allowing for statements that are not proven true.


U.S. Treasury To Sell Ad Space On Money, Flag

WASHINGTON, DC – In order to help alleviate the National debt and pay for the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, President Bush has singed a law allowing for advertising space to be made available on U.S. currency and on the U.S. flag.


Porn Industry Set To Allow Advertising On Actors Bodies

LOS ANGELES, CA – Following in the footsteps of Professional Boxing, the pornography industry will soon allow companies to sponsor actors and actresses. The Porn Actors Guild has OK’d the use of temporary tattoos on performers during filming of adult films.


Hell Enlists Marketing Firm To Update Image

HELL – In an attempt to improve its image and promote a happier atmosphere, Hell has hired a new marketing firm and image consultant. Blake, Stein and Wills Marketing will take over all public relations and advertising for the underworld getaway in an effort to “bring back the luster and mystique that Hades deserves.”


Self Declared "Hottie" Sued for False Advertising

NEW HAVEN, CT – In an unprecedented court case, Mitch Dennis, 18, has filed a lawsuit against Emily Daniels, 18, for false advertisement. The suit stems from an incident on August 30th when Daniels reportedly wore a T-shirt proclaiming herself as a “Hottie.” Dennis argues that Daniels is in fact not a “Hottie” but rather unattractive in whole, thereby misleading him.


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