HOUSTON, TX- Men’s Warehouse has announced a new line of “executive basketball shorts” the company hopes will appeal to remote workers.

SALT LAKE CITY, UT – The people of Salt Lake City are eager to welcome the National League Hockey, the whitest of all sports leagues, to the whitest city in America.

DES MOINES, IA – After a record-breaking collegiate career, woman’s college basketball player Caitlin Clark’s accomplishments have been compared to the accomplishments of every male athlete ever.

CHICAGO, IL – In a new survey of children ages five to 15, a majority of children said they wanted to be an NFT when they grow up.

TOKYO, JAPAN – The ongoing COVID-19 pandemic has forced the International Olympic Committee to make several changes to events of this year’s Summer Olympic Games to accommodate athletes COVID-19 related symptoms.

DALLAS, TX – Local father John Mansinni is slowly coming to terms with the fact that his son, John Jr, is a terrible athlete.

DENVER, CO – After recent snowstorms wreaked havoc in cities across the country, God has apologized saying he made the decision to create the winter storms after “half listening to some eight-year-old’s prayer.”

CHAPEL HILL, NC – Duke University student, Tyson Whitman, has expressed his disappointment and frustration that the Duke University basketball team failed to win the NCAA Basketball Championship, thus eliminating any chance Whitman had a participating an associated riot.

Duke University won the NCAA Basketball Championship in 2015, spurring Whitman to enroll at the university.

CLEVELAND, OH – With ratings falling for the fourth consecutive year, the National Basketball Association has announced that it will make sweeping changes to how games are played beginning next season.

Perhaps the biggest change will be to the overall structure of the game. Instead of four 12-minute quarters, an NBA basketball game will last five minutes with each team starting at 98 points.
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“In recent years, (the last five minutes ) is the only part of the game that people actually watch,” said NBA Commissioner Adam Silver.

NEW YORK, NY – New York Yankees’ fans have been promised that retiring shortstop Derek Jeter will be taken upstate to live out the rest of his years on a farm.