Kentucky Passes Law to Stop Trans Women from Giving Men Erections
Published March 2024FRANKFORT, KY – The Kentucky Senate has passed a new bill making it illegal for trans women to give men erections.
Classified Documents Found at Home of Former Student Council President
Published February 2023CHICAGO, IL – Makar Elementary School officials are calling for an investigation after confidential documents were found under the bed of former Student Council President, Chase Johnson.
Odd Weather Has Old Man Winter’s Friends and Family Concerned He May be Using Drugs
Published November 2021WINTERLAND – Old Man Winter’s family and friends are concerned that his recent erratic behavior may be due to cognitive decline or drug abuse.
Facebook Launches Degree Program to Validate Facebook Users’ Posts, Comments
Published October 2021SAN FRANCISCO, CA – Beginning next month, Facebook will begin offering degree and postgraduate degree programs to Facebook users.
Fans Demand Director’s Cut Release of Pornhub video
Published March 2021HOLLYWOOD, CA – After a successful campaign to convince HBO to release the “Snyder cut” of “Justice League,” fans have started a similar campaign for the release of the director’s cut of the Pornhub video “Step sister alseep on couch BBC surprise DVDA”.
Fans Start Petition to Make Titanic Ending Happier
Published August 2019HOLLYWOOD, CA – Fans of the film Titanic, long unhappy with the ending of the film, have launched a petition to have the ending of the film remade “so it’s happy”.
God Admits Nation-wide Snow Storm a Result of Not Listening to Prayer Details
Published February 2019DENVER, CO – After recent snowstorms wreaked havoc in cities across the country, God has apologized saying he made the decision to create the winter storms after “half listening to some eight-year-old’s prayer.”
Mother Nature Extends Summer by Three Months
Published September 2016AUSTIN, TX – Summer will be extended three months and Winter will be phased out over the next couple years according to a recent announcement from Mother Nature.
Pokémon Added to Endangered Species List
Published August 2016WASHINGTON, D.C. – The Pokémon Dewgong, a white sea lion like creature, has been added to Endangered Species list the by the International Union for Conservation of Nature.
The creature has been hunted to near extinction in recent weeks as a result of the popularity of the Pokémon Go game.
“In a lot of ways Pokémon Go has been the worst thing to happen to this world but it has been specifically terrible to the poor little Dewgong,” said Pokémon scientist Kellie Peters.
Magazine Releases Top 10 “Things to do Before You Die”
Published September 2015NEW YORK, NY – As the world becomes more dangerous, a growing trend is creating a list of “must do”s to be completed before one dies – commonly known as a “bucket list.”