Cassie Toews said she was definitely going to vote but then didn't because stuff came up.

Local 22-Year-Old Was Definitely Going to Vote but Like… Stuff Came Up

PORTLAND, OR – A local 22-year-old woman admits she did not vote in the recent election despite having every intention of doing so.


Amazon will give each warehouse worker an extra diaper this holiday season.

Amazon Warehouse Workers to Get Extra Diaper as Holiday Bonus

BELLEVUE, WA – Amazon warehouse workers across the country will be receiving a special bonus this holiday season in the form of one extra adult diaper.


Buffalo Wild Wings to Replace All Chairs with Toilets

COLUMBUS, OH – The restaurant and sports bar chain Buffalo Wild Wings will be making a major change to all existing locations over the next six months, replacing all chairs and barstools with continuous flow toilets.


Winston (above) and Joshua Castellino have not been invited to a party or family event in over a year.

Local Ventriloquist No Longer Invited to Parties

LAKEWOOD, CO – Local ventriloquist, Joshua Castellino, is no longer invited to parties due to refusal to leave his dummy, Winston, at home.


The Scoop News Summer Movie Preview

HOLLYWOOD, CA – As summer approaches and businesses begin reopening in full, people across the country are looking forward to heading out to their local movie theater to catch the newest summer blockbuster films.


Experts Offer Tips to Keep School Kids Covid-19 Free

ATLANTA, GA – As children across the country return to school concerns of exposure to and spread of COVID-19 have parents worried about their family’s safety.


Nice Gift at White Elephant Exchange Ruins Party

MEMPHIS, TN – An office Christmas party was ruined when an employee brought an expensive bottle of wine to a white elephant gift exchange.


Random Tweets Reported as Actual News

NEW YORK, NY – Following current industry standards The Scoop News editorial staff have selected random tweets to report as actual news, instead of working, interviewing, and writing about current events.
Due to the overall laziness of journalists, posting tweets as news has become the primary template for most news organizations. For example, here is a tweet where a writer is writing a new book, or perhaps poem about tigers.

Physicians Giving Surgeries Happier Sounding Names

WASHINGTON, DC – Several phsyicians have proposed a sweeping review of all medical procedure names with the possibility of renaming those procedures to “something a little happier.”


Inventor Thomas Dollbe has realized the world is not ready for his invention; Poop powered cars.

Inventor Realizes World Not Ready For Poop Powered Cars

ST. PAUL, MN – Shortly after presenting his newest invention Thomas Dollbe had to come to terms with the realization that the world may not be ready for cars powered by human feces.


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