New MLB Rule: Yankees Automatically Qualify for Playoffs

NEW YORK, NY – Although the playoffs are still underway, Major League Baseball announced a rule change this week that will ensure the New York Yankees automatically make the playoffs.


Former member of The Watchmen, Adrian Veidt, also known as Ozymandias, says he created and released the COVID-19 virus in order to unite humanity against a single threat.

Adrian Veidt Admits Plan to Unify Humanity by Releasing COVID-19 has Failed

NEW YORK, NY – Former superhero and the smartest man in the world, Adrian Veidt, also known as Ozymandias, admitted to engineering and releasing the COVID-19 virus in an effort to bring the people of earth together.


Jacob Gregory has successfully mentioned that he owns a Tesla in every conversation he's had since purchasing a Tesla.

Tesla Owner Successfully Mentions He Owns a Tesla in Every Conversation

SAN FRANCISCO, CA – Local Tesla owner, Jacob Gregory, has successfully worked the fact that he owns a Tesla into every conversation he’s had since purchasing the vehicle in late 2020.


The Donald Trump Presidency's historically bad ratings may lead networks to cancel the show before the end of the current season.

Poor Rating May Force Networks to Cancel The Donald Trump Presidency

WASHINGTON, D.C. – If ratings don’t improve network executives say they may be forced to cancel The Donald Trump Presidency.


Apple has removed the Measure app from iPhones and iPads after complaints of inaccuracy.

Apple Pulls Measure App After Men Complain About Penis Size

CUPERTINO, CA – Apple has pulled its new Measure app from iPhones and iPads after thousands of men complain the app does not accurately measure the length of their penises.


President Trump has been trying to call President Whitmore from the film Independence Day to ask for advice on recent scandals.

Trump Seeking Advice from ‘Independence Day’ President

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Seeking advice, President Donald Trump has been attempting to call the President from the film Independence Day.
“The President recently saw Independence Day on tv, (Trump) watches a lot of tv, and was impressed by President Whitmore,” said White House Press Secretary, Sarah Huckabee Sanders.


This Million Dollar Baby Fan Theory Changes Everything

LOS ANGELES, CA – The internet is abuzz with a new fan theory that will change the way you see the classic film Million Dollar Baby.


Scientists behind the computer simulation we know as reality said the simulation will be ending soon.

Computer Simulation Known as “Reality” Ending

BOSTON,MA – The scientists behind the computer simulation we know as reality have decided to end the simulation after a series of recent events wielded “bizarre results.”
“This current simulation, basically what you know as your ‘reality,’ has just gone off the rails,” said lead Simulation Programmer, Trent Stein. “(The simulation) got a little dicey in what you would refer to as the 2000s but things straightened out. Now, where this simulation is now, wow. Just… wow. This simulation has just produced some honestly stupid results. So instead of watching (the simulation) just fall apart or spin out of control we are going to scrap the whole damn thing. I know that sucks for you but… it’s really for the best.”

Guide to This Holiday Season’s Hottest Toys

LOS ANGELES, CA – Getting children the perfect gift if always the hardest part of any holiday season – especially when there are so many toys and games to choose from. To help parents through this stressful time of the year, The Scoop News has compiled a list of this holiday season’s hottest toys.


Inventor Thomas Dollbe has realized the world is not ready for his invention; Poop powered cars.

Inventor Realizes World Not Ready For Poop Powered Cars

ST. PAUL, MN – Shortly after presenting his newest invention Thomas Dollbe had to come to terms with the realization that the world may not be ready for cars powered by human feces.


Back to Top