KHARTOUM, SUDAN–The people of Sudan say they are looking forward to the pending influx of free Stanley cups as the popularity of the large travel cups has begun to subside in the United States of America.

STANFORD, CA – Researchers at Stanford University have identified the gene responsible for making Pickup Truck owners back in to parking spaces.

The coworkers of Ben Magnerson still do not want to hear about Magnerson’s Dungeons and Dragons game.

WASHINGTON, D.C. – A specialized cleaning crew has been called in to the Oval Office after White House staff discovered a large number of boogers that President Trump had smeared underneath the Resolute desk.

SANTIAGO, CHILE – Archaeologists working outside of Santiago have discovered what they believe is the first known instance of a “dick pic.”

KIRKLAND, WA – A local barista informed customers and coworkers that he has almost completed his film script.

SAN ANTONIO, TX – Local man Jared Waterton says that he is no longer comfortable in his football-themed man-cave.

SANTA FE, NM – Anthropologists are excited by recently discovered cave drawings that they say prove that the earliest inhabitants of North America were terrible artists.

TRENTON, NJ – As summer begins, so does the season of home renovations. The cold weather is gone and home owners across the country will begin heading to hardware stores for the supplies to make needed or wanted improvements to their homes.

According to Home Re-Do Magazine’s editor Glenda Hershet, this year’s most popular home improvement project is the addition of a sex dungeon.

TUCSON, AZ – Local bongo player, Steve “Ashy” Gregory, readily admits that he takes his bongo playing very seriously.