WASHINGTON, D.C. – Republican Vice Presidential candidate J.D. Vance has been revealed to be an artificial intelligence generated person.

LOS ANGELES, CA – The Hallmark Channel has released its upcoming holiday movie schedule which includes several new holiday movies.

HOLLYWOOD, CA – As summer approaches and businesses begin reopening in full, people across the country are looking forward to heading out to their local movie theater to catch the newest summer blockbuster films.

RICHMOND, VA – None of the attendees on the weekly Dorchester International sales call have accepted responsibility for the audible fart heard during last week’s video conference call.

LAKEWOOD, CO – Local woman, Jenny McDavid, has spent the last four hours rearranging her office to ensure attendees on a video conference think McDavid has her shit together.

MEMPHIS, TN – An office Christmas party was ruined when an employee brought an expensive bottle of wine to a white elephant gift exchange.

AUSTIN, TX – An awkward silence has persisted in the Kingston Medical Supply office after an employee sneezed and farted at the same time.

OMAHA, NB – Local man Dean Waters, 27, is suing 10-year-old Lara Schriber for gender discrimination because Waters was not invited to Schriber’s “girls only” sleepover.

ATLANTA, GA – The internet has been going crazy with speculation that Ya Lun, a Giant Panda at the Atlanta Zoo, may hold the key to faster-than-light (FTL) space travel.