Southwest Airlines Will Allow Passengers to Fly Planes to Reduce Cancellations
Published December 2022ATLANTA, GA – Southwest Airlines has announced a three-pronged plan for addressing the large number of flight cancelations the airline has made in recent weeks.
Santa Claus Switches Sleigh from Reindeer Power to Electric Power
Published December 2022NORTH POLE – To help offset his carbon footprint, Santa Claus has announced that he has converted his sleigh from reindeer power to electric power.
Gambling Apps to Allow Users to Contact Athletes
Published February 2022LAS VEGAS, NV – Several of the largest sports betting apps will soon allow users to contact individual athletes directly through the app.
Texas to Begin Requiring Residents to Generate Their Own Power
Published March 2021DALLAS, TX – After recent winter storms almost completely destroyed Texas’ power grid, the Texas state government has passed a law requiring all residents to generate their own power.
To Help Fight Racism Pornhub Will Soon Only Offer Interracial Videos on Site
Published December 2020NEW YORK, NY – Pornography website Pornhub has pledged to help fight racism by only offering interracial content.
Beth Sinclair: COVID-19 Thanksgiving Tips
Published October 2020Hello, hello, HELLOOOOOOOO! Oh. My. GOD. It has been forever! It is I, your bestest friend in all of the deep, dark web – Beth Sinclair!
Qanon Revealed to be Mountain Dew Marketing Campaign
Published October 2020WASHINGTON, D.C. – In a shocking Post-Election revelation, the source of the mysterious Qanon conspiracy theory has been revealed to be the marketing team for the soft drink Mountain Dew.
Attendees Deny Farting During Video Conference
Published May 2020RICHMOND, VA – None of the attendees on the weekly Dorchester International sales call have accepted responsibility for the audible fart heard during last week’s video conference call.
Authorities Investigating Why Ferret Bought 23 Gallons of Chocolate Milk
Published July 2019ORLANDO, FL – Both police and animal control officers are looking in to a recent report that a ferret has purchased over 23 gallons of chocolate milk from a local grocery store.
Unaware Petrol is Gasoline Trump Plans to Export Gas to England
Published February 2019WASHINGTON, D.C. – Fresh from a visit to London, President Donald Trump made the surprise announcement that the United States will export gasoline to England as he was made aware England uses petrol rather than gasoline.