BELLINGHAM, WA – A local man has ruined Karaoke night at a popular bar by singing a “total bummer of a song.”

DEIFT, NETHERLANDS – This fall, retailer IKEA will begin offering a new line of furniture designed specifically for holding large piles of random stuff.

MENLO PARK, CA – Meta has announced a change in the company’s virtual reality strategy which will shift focus to producing a virtual reality for and containing only old, white people.

AMHERST, MA – Local man Aiden Toews has made it clear to all attendees at the party that he is willing to spend several hours explaining why the Beach Boys album Pet Sounds is “the best album ever made.”

HOUSTON, TX- Men’s Warehouse has announced a new line of “executive basketball shorts” the company hopes will appeal to remote workers.

NEW YORK, NY – Companies across the country have been reinstituting Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI) campaigns after realizing women and minorities can be paid less than white men.

DETROIT, MI – Local man Eric Blumenthal has changed his political beliefs from Democrat to far right-wing Conservative after receiving some negative feedback on a recent performance review.

SEATTLE, WA – A local woman says she is frustrated with constantly being referred to as “Caleb’s girlfriend” instead of her name.

CHARLOTTE, NC – Local man Terry Cooke, 46, says he has had his childhood ruined 12 to 13 times a day for the past several years.

SAN FRANCISCO, CA –Apple has announced it will soon add new photo filters specifically designed for dick pics.