DES MOINES, IA – Just in time for the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday, several new vegan turkey options have become available in grocery stores.

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Many leading climate scientists have decided they will stop warning of pending climate catastrophes and will instead suggest everyone “get to work on their bucket list.”

WASHINGTON, D.C. –Republicans running for seats in the Senate and House of Representatives have turned to a new website to help in fundraising efforts – GOPnlyFans.

NORTH POLE – Santa Co. has announced that it will be laying off 30% of its workforce to reduce costs in the wake of rising labor and material costs.

IRVINE, CA – Taco Bell will be rolling out a new menu item this month consisting of a handful of meat, cheese, and lettuce rolled into a ball. Taco Bell “chefs” are calling the new creation El Wado.

WASHINGTON, D.C. – The Food and Drug Administration announced this week that it has created a new product category, “fewd,” to describe items found on Taco Bell’s menu.

SAN FRANCISCO, CA – Local Tesla owner, Jacob Gregory, has successfully worked the fact that he owns a Tesla into every conversation he’s had since purchasing the vehicle in late 2020.

LOUISVILLE, KY – Fast food chain KFC has announced plans to release a new beverage cup made from fried chicken.

LOS ANGELES, CA – Late last week Elon Musk called in to a radio program to announce that he has invented a new sandwich that will “revolutionize sandwich technology for generations.”

WASHINGTON, DC – White House staff has removed all tinsel from White House Christmas decorations after President Donald Trump was seen pulling Tinsel off a Christmas tree and eating it.