God said he will no longer leave his children in charge when he takes a vacation.

God Apologizes for Leaving His Kids in Charge Last Seven Years

HEAVEN – After returning from vacation and seeing the state of Earth, God has promised to never again put his kids in charge while he is away.


The United States and the European Union have blocked access to all Russian made pornography in response to Russia's invasion of Ukraine.

Sanctions Imposed on Russian Porn After Russian Invasion of Ukraine

NEW YORK, NY – The United States of America and the European Union announced drastic new sanctions against Russia as a result of the war in Ukraine. The sanctions will block the import of any pornography from Russia.


Local man Glenn Ramirez has made a New Year's Resolution to finish the puzzle he started in 2019.

Local Man Makes New Year's Resolution to Finally Finish Puzzle

HOUSTON, TX – For his New Year’s Resolution, local Man Glenn Ramirez has committed to finishing the jigsaw puzzle he started in 2019.


Some generic actors star in one of the new Hallmark Channel holiday films.

Hallmark Channel Releases Seven New Holiday Movies

LOS ANGELES, CA – The Hallmark Channel has released its upcoming holiday movie schedule which includes several new holiday movies.


Adult Stores Struggle with Inventories as Social Distancing Eases

SALT LAKE CITY, UT – Adult stores across the country are dealing with inventory issues as Americans become vaccinated against COVID-19 and the need for social distancing is rapidly decreasing.


Fans Demand Director’s Cut Release of Pornhub video

HOLLYWOOD, CA – After a successful campaign to convince HBO to release the “Snyder cut” of “Justice League,” fans have started a similar campaign for the release of the director’s cut of the Pornhub video “Step sister alseep on couch BBC surprise DVDA”.


Pornhub will soon only feature videos of interracial couples on the popular pornography website.

To Help Fight Racism Pornhub Will Soon Only Offer Interracial Videos on Site

NEW YORK, NY – Pornography website Pornhub has pledged to help fight racism by only offering interracial content.


Trump has started wearing masks that his staff told him are made from porn star’s used underwear.

Trump Wears Mask after Staff Insist It’s Made from Porn Star’s Used Underwear

WASHINGTON, D.C. – In order to persuade President Trump to wear a mask, White House officials told the president his masks are made from used underwear previously worn by porn stars.


Business Owner Pulls Benefits from Employees After Visit by Ghosts

GLENDALE, AZ – After being visited by three ghosts, local businessman Walter Bandict, has announced that he will no longer offer his employees paid time off and medical benefits.


This image of a turquoise flag has angered several Star Wars fans.

Star Wars Fans Upset New Film Will Include Color Turquoise

HOLLYWOOD, CA – Recently released images from the upcoming Star Wars film, The Rise of Skywalker, have angered a number of Star Wars fans who are upset the film will include the color turquoise.


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