The Congress.gov website still has several politicians that are available to be purchased.

Lotto Winner Planning to Buy Politician

TOLEDO, OH – The winner of the recent Mega Millions lottery jackpot said she plans to purchase her very own politician with the winnings.


A new law in Texas will make it illegal to make a white man feel uncomfortable.

Texas Law Makes It Illegal to Make a White Man Uncomfortable

AUSTIN, TX – Texas Governor Greg Abbott has signed a new law that makes it illegal to make a white man feel uncomfortable in any way.


Senators Joe Manchin and Kyrsten Sinema have proposed taxing Minecraft players instead of billionaires to pay for the infrastructure bill.

Manchin and Sinema Propose Taxing Minecraft Players to Pay for Infrastructure Bill

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Senators Joe Manchin and Kyrsten Sinema have proposed changes to the funding of the infrastructure bill.


Republic of Rock! founder Chris Markson.

Internet Group Aims to Help Republicans Find Republican-friendly Rock Music

NASHVILLE, TN – A new online support group has been launched to help Republicans find music made by artists that align with current Republican values.


Scientists believe climate change may be caused by a single thermostat set to a very hot temperature.

Global Warming Traced to Florida Grandmother's Thermostat

BOCA RATON, FL – Scientist have traced climate change, specifically global warming, to a grandmother’s thermostat in Florida.


During the Presidential Inauguration, Hillary Clinton revealed she had been masquerading as Joe Biden for years.

Biden Removes Mask at Inauguration to Reveal Hillary Clinton

WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Joe Biden stunned the nation during last month’s inauguration ceremony by removing a mask revealing that Hillary Clinton had been disguised as Biden during the election.


Melania and her husband maintain physical distance as recommended by Melania's doctors.

Melania Trump Extends Physical Distancing Within the White House to 100 Feet

WASHINGTON, D.C. – First Lady Melania Trump is calling for expanded physical distancing, specifically within the White House, as the COVID-19 pandemic continues.


Anderson Cooper 360 Host, Panelists Stuck in Infinite Loop

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Panelists and the host of Anderson Cooper 360 on CNN are stuck in an infinite loop as show producers scramble to get the program back on track.


After being confused for decades, President Trump has officially changed Link's name to Zelda in the popular video game series The Legend of Zelda.

Trump Signs Executive Order Changing Link’s Name to Zelda

WASHINGTON, DC – President Donald Trump signed an executive order this week renaming the central character in The Legends of Zelda video game.


The Senate hopes to vote on a new health care bill, written on a napkin, in the next few days.

Senate Looking to Pass Health Care Bill Written on Napkin

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Senate Republicans are trying to push through a new heath care bill that was written earlier today on a bar napkin.


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