A new law in Texas will make it illegal to make a white man feel uncomfortable.

Texas Law Makes It Illegal to Make a White Man Uncomfortable

AUSTIN, TX – Texas Governor Greg Abbott has signed a new law that makes it illegal to make a white man feel uncomfortable in any way.


The Scoop News Summer Movie Preview

HOLLYWOOD, CA – As summer approaches and businesses begin reopening in full, people across the country are looking forward to heading out to their local movie theater to catch the newest summer blockbuster films.


Texas has passed a new law requiring all Texas residents to generate their own power.

Texas to Begin Requiring Residents to Generate Their Own Power

DALLAS, TX – After recent winter storms almost completely destroyed Texas’ power grid, the Texas state government has passed a law requiring all residents to generate their own power.


Democratic Presidential candidate Joe Biden is taking dance lessons to learn the Macarena.

Biden Learning Macarena to Appeal to Latino Youth Voters

WILMINGTON, DE – Democratic Presidential candidate Joe Biden has been taking dance lessons to learn the Macarena in an effort to appeal to America’s Latino youth.


Derrick Browdirt has been unable to communicate with his friends and family since the cancellation of sports.

Local Man Unable To Communicate Without Sports

DALLAS, TX – A local sports fan, Derrick Browdirt, has found himself unable to communicate with other males due to the cancellation of all sports and sporting events during the COVID-19 pandemic.


Texan Testing Canadian's Patience

VANCOUVER, BC – A tourist from Texas is testing a Canadian waiter’s patience and politeness.


Father Unwilling to Accept Son is Terrible at Sports

DALLAS, TX – Local father John Mansinni is slowly coming to terms with the fact that his son, John Jr, is a terrible athlete.


Teppanyaki Chef Halfheartedly Performs for One

DALLAS, TX – A Teppanyaki chef at Texas Japan BBQ Emporium is struggling to perform while preparing food for a table of one.


Jared Waterton says he does not feel comfortable in his Dallas Cowboys themed man-cave.

Local Man No Longer Feels Comfortable in His Man-Cave

SAN ANTONIO, TX – Local man Jared Waterton says that he is no longer comfortable in his football-themed man-cave.


Starbucks is introducing new dick flavored coffee drinks.

Starbucks Unveils Dick Flavored Coffee Drinks

SEATTLE, WA – Starbucks will be expanding its menu next month, rolling out new dick flavored coffee drinks to stores across the country.
“When looking for a new flavor we asked ourselves ‘what do people, at least most people, like?’ the answer was obvious; dick,” said Starbucks Flavor Engineer, Kylie Kearns. “And the love of dick is worldwide. Almost every single woman has had a dick in their mouth at some point."

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