Fox News television personality Tucker Carlson told his viewers to drink bull semen to increase their testosterone.

Tucker Carlson Suggests Drinking Bull Semen to Increase Testosterone

NEW YORK, NY – To combat falling testosterone levels in American, white males, Fox News personality Tucker Carlson recommends drinking bull semen.


Gamblers will soon be able to contact athletes directly using sports betting apps.

Gambling Apps to Allow Users to Contact Athletes

LAS VEGAS, NV – Several of the largest sports betting apps will soon allow users to contact individual athletes directly through the app.


Santa Claus Will Not Accept Lists Containing Ivermectin

NORTH POLE – Santa Claus has announced that he will no longer accept children’s Christmas lists that contain Ivermectin, hydroxychloroquine, or Z-pack.


Former punk band guitarist, Gavin Lewis, wishes he had sold out years ago when given the chance.

Old Punk Guitarist Really Wishes He Sold Out

BALTIMORE, MD – The former guitarist of a punk band has admitted that he wishes he had sold out when given the opportunity years ago.


U.S. Sets New Record of COVID Deniers Contracting COVID

WASHINGTON, D.C. – The United States of America set a new COVID record as the number of people who claimed the pandemic was a hoax only to then get infected by COVID rose to over two million.


A fight erupted between cardboard cutouts of fans when one cutout accidentally fell on to another.

Cardboard Cutouts Start Fight at Philadelphia Flyers Hockey Game

PHILADELPHIA, PA – Several cardboard cutouts of fans started a brawl during a recent Philadelphia Flyers hockey game.


A The Rock from the future appeared in Times Square to warn the people of earth about the horrors of the year 2020.

Future Version of The Rock Appears to Warn World of 2020

NEW YORK, NY – A time-traveling The Rock, whose real name is Dwayne Johnson, appeared in Times Square earlier this week to warn the world about the year 2020.


A commercial for a male enhancement drug featuring a black actor frightened white viewers.

Black Man in TV Commercial Results in 270 Calls to 911

NASHVILLE, TN – The appearance of a black man in a television commercial frightened white viewers and resulted in more than 270 calls to police.


Local Man Making Fewer Online Threats

SAN BERNADINO, CA – Blaming his new job and other social obligations, local internet user Jerod Franklin said he no longer has the time or energy to post as many violent threats per day as he did six months ago.


The Cleveland Indians unveiled the teams new mascot, Kavi, last month.

Cleveland Indians Change Mascot to Man from India

CLEVELAND, OH – Responding to political pressure, the Cleveland Indians baseball team has changed its mascot from a Native American to a man from India.


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