AMHERST, MA – Local man Aiden Toews has made it clear to all attendees at the party that he is willing to spend several hours explaining why the Beach Boys album Pet Sounds is “the best album ever made.”

HOUSTON, TX- Men’s Warehouse has announced a new line of “executive basketball shorts” the company hopes will appeal to remote workers.

SAN FRANCISCO, CA –Apple has announced it will soon add new photo filters specifically designed for dick pics.

LOS ANGELES, CA – The popular dating app Tinder is planning on expanding to a new market by allowing users to list their blood type and organ health within the app.

AUSTIN, TX – The Texas State Legislature has passed a new law making it illegal to remove truck nuts from a truck.

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Republican Vice Presidential candidate J.D. Vance has been revealed to be an artificial intelligence generated person.

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Many leading climate scientists have decided they will stop warning of pending climate catastrophes and will instead suggest everyone “get to work on their bucket list.”

DETROIT, MI – Automobile manufacturer Dodge has announced an update to its popular Caravan minivan. Beginning this fall, all new Caravan minivans will come with a French Fry underneath each seat.

LOS ANGELES, CA – As people across the country start planning their summer vacations, The Scoop News has reached out to travel industry experts for a list of this year’s top summer vacation destinations.

ALEXANDRIA, VA – The National Rifle Association has sent congratulation cards to all graduating, American high school students congratulating them for making it through school without falling victim to gun violence.