Published March 2022
HEAVEN – After returning from vacation and seeing the state of Earth, God has promised to never again put his kids in charge while he is away.
Published January 2022
WASHINGTON, D.C. – According to a recent poll, the number of Americans that just can’t anymore is at an all-time high.
Published August 2021
NEW YORK, NY – Former superhero and the smartest man in the world, Adrian Veidt, also known as Ozymandias, admitted to engineering and releasing the COVID-19 virus in an effort to bring the people of earth together.
Published October 2020
WASHINGTON, D.C. – In a shocking Post-Election revelation, the source of the mysterious Qanon conspiracy theory has been revealed to be the marketing team for the soft drink Mountain Dew.
Published August 2020
HILO, HI – Astronomers at the W. M. Keck Observatory have discovered a planet capable of supporting life orbiting a nearby star that humans could “definitely ruin.”
Published April 2019
WILMINGTON, NC – Jesus Christ has apologized for a controversial tweet he made last month after an intense online backlash.
Published August 2017
BOSTON, MA – House cats have begun stealing human souls as part of the final phase of their plan to conquer Earth.
Published June 2017
HOLLYWOOD, CA – Actress Jennifer Lawrence has asked every male on the planet Earth to remove her name from their individual bucket lists.
Published September 2015
NEW YORK, NY – As the world becomes more dangerous, a growing trend is creating a list of “must do”s to be completed before one dies – commonly known as a “bucket list.”
Published January 2015
WASHINGTON, DC – During the State of the Union address last month President Obama made a number of statements reflecting on the past year and made a number of promises looking ahead.