Mike Velenski spent much of his time at recent holiday parties explaining that he purchased his Tesla prior to learning Elon Musk is a dipshit.

Local Man Spends Holiday Parties Explaining When He Purchased His Tesla

SEATTLE, WA – A local Tesla owner, Mike Velenski, spent a large portion of recent holiday parties explaining to family and coworkers that he purchased the vehicle before finding out Elon Musk is a complete dipshit.


One fun and easy holiday costume is to dress up as a naughty snowman.

Expert Offers Seven Winter Holiday Costume Ideas

LOS ANGELES, CA – To assist those still in need of a costume, The Scoop News has surveyed a leading holiday expert and gathered a list of fresh and fun costume ideas.


The CDC will soon issue new COVID guidance documents that can be used as an excuse to not see family this holiday season.

CDC Reminds Americans COVID Still a Valid Excuse to Not Visit Family

WASHINGTON D.C., – Although severe cases and hospitalizations have decreased in recent months, scientists are the Center for Disease Control (CDC) say that COVID is still a valid excuse to not see relatives at Thanksgiving.


Marcus Weeksy's classmates have declared him to be the "luckiest boy in the world."

"Luckiest Boy in the World" Celebrates Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza

COSTA MESA, CA – Classmates have declared local boy the “luckiest boy in the world” for celebrating Christmas, Hanukkah, and Kwanza.


The Scoop News' 2022 Holiday Toy Buying Guide

NEW YORK, NY – The season of gift giving is here and to help find the best toys for the children in your life, The Scoop News has pulled together a list of this year’s top selling, sought-after, and affordable toys.


Some generic actors star in one of the new Hallmark Channel holiday films.

Hallmark Channel Releases Seven New Holiday Movies

LOS ANGELES, CA – The Hallmark Channel has released its upcoming holiday movie schedule which includes several new holiday movies.


Artist’s rendering of the new War on Christmas monument featuring a white, Christian male yelling “Merry Christmas” at non-Christians.

Trump Approves New War on Christmas Monument

WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Donald Trump has approved the commission and construction of a new national monument to honor the lives lost in the War on Christmas.


Decorating For Christmas: Tips from the Professionals

NEW YORK, NY – Decorating for the holidays has become competitive in many neighborhoods across the country regardless of one’s religion.


President Trump said he will wait up until Santa Claus arrives on Christmas Eve to confront Claus on past gifts.

Trump Plans to Stay Up All Night to Confront Santa

WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Donald Trump announced that he is planning on staying awake on Christmas Eve in order to confront Santa Claus.
“I am going to stay up, I’m very good at staying up, maybe the best, some people say that I’m the best they’ve ever seen at staying up, like the Russians, they are good at staying up and I’m good like that too, at staying up. I can stay up late when I want to stay up late,” said Trump.

Coworker Says “Merry Christmas” Too Aggressively

MODESTO, CA – Over the past several weeks local Christian Jerome Hopkins has been aggressively wishing co-workers a “merry Christmas,” regardless of his coworkers’ actual religious beliefs.


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