Biden Announces I.O.U. Forgiveness Program

WASHINGTON, DC – After the positive reactions to the Student Loan Debt cancelation, President Joe Biden announced a new plan to forgive up to $100 in I.O.U.s.


Mike Rapide says he is going to take a break from constantly owning Libs.

Local Man to Take a Break from Owning Libs

PRESCOTT, AZ – A local Republican says he’s getting a bored “constantly owning all the libs” and is considering taking some time off to focus on himself.


The Congress.gov website still has several politicians that are available to be purchased.

Lotto Winner Planning to Buy Politician

TOLEDO, OH – The winner of the recent Mega Millions lottery jackpot said she plans to purchase her very own politician with the winnings.


A new law in Texas will make it illegal to make a white man feel uncomfortable.

Texas Law Makes It Illegal to Make a White Man Uncomfortable

AUSTIN, TX – Texas Governor Greg Abbott has signed a new law that makes it illegal to make a white man feel uncomfortable in any way.


Senators Joe Manchin and Kyrsten Sinema have proposed taxing Minecraft players instead of billionaires to pay for the infrastructure bill.

Manchin and Sinema Propose Taxing Minecraft Players to Pay for Infrastructure Bill

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Senators Joe Manchin and Kyrsten Sinema have proposed changes to the funding of the infrastructure bill.


Republic of Rock! founder Chris Markson.

Internet Group Aims to Help Republicans Find Republican-friendly Rock Music

NASHVILLE, TN – A new online support group has been launched to help Republicans find music made by artists that align with current Republican values.


Scientists believe climate change may be caused by a single thermostat set to a very hot temperature.

Global Warming Traced to Florida Grandmother's Thermostat

BOCA RATON, FL – Scientist have traced climate change, specifically global warming, to a grandmother’s thermostat in Florida.


During the Presidential Inauguration, Hillary Clinton revealed she had been masquerading as Joe Biden for years.

Biden Removes Mask at Inauguration to Reveal Hillary Clinton

WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Joe Biden stunned the nation during last month’s inauguration ceremony by removing a mask revealing that Hillary Clinton had been disguised as Biden during the election.


Lisa Huller is considering several different excuses for not voting for Biden.

White, Suburban Woman Still Considering Excuses to Not Vote for Biden

LANSING, MI – Local white, suburban, mother, Lisa Huller, is still considering several different excuses to not vote for the Democratic Presidential nominee Joe Biden.


Melania and her husband maintain physical distance as recommended by Melania's doctors.

Melania Trump Extends Physical Distancing Within the White House to 100 Feet

WASHINGTON, D.C. – First Lady Melania Trump is calling for expanded physical distancing, specifically within the White House, as the COVID-19 pandemic continues.


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