MENLO PARK, CA – Meta has announced a change in the company’s virtual reality strategy which will shift focus to producing a virtual reality for and containing only old, white people.

DETROIT, MI – Automobile manufacturer Dodge has announced an update to its popular Caravan minivan. Beginning this fall, all new Caravan minivans will come with a French Fry underneath each seat.

IRVINE, CA – Taco Bell will be rolling out a new menu item this month consisting of a handful of meat, cheese, and lettuce rolled into a ball. Taco Bell “chefs” are calling the new creation El Wado.

LOS GATOS, CA –After a string of popular releases, Netflix has announced a new cooking competition show titled “I’d Fuck it.”

WASHINGTON, D.C. – The Food and Drug Administration announced this week that it has created a new product category, “fewd,” to describe items found on Taco Bell’s menu.

HOUSTON, TX – For his New Year’s Resolution, local Man Glenn Ramirez has committed to finishing the jigsaw puzzle he started in 2019.

RICHMOND, VA – None of the attendees on the weekly Dorchester International sales call have accepted responsibility for the audible fart heard during last week’s video conference call.

ST. PAUL, MN – Shortly after presenting his newest invention Thomas Dollbe had to come to terms with the realization that the world may not be ready for cars powered by human feces.

BISMARCK, ND – After months of debating, soul searching and consulting with family members, local man Dean Weebers has decided to pull his wife, who is in a Pinterest coma, of life support.

WASHINGTON, DC – During the State of the Union address last month President Obama made a number of statements reflecting on the past year and made a number of promises looking ahead.