A group gathered at a local bar was surprised to learn that MTV is still on the air.

Group Shocked to Learn MTV Still on The Air

NEW YORK, NY – A mixed group of Millennials and Gen-Xers were shocked this week to learn that MTV is still on the air and broadcasting new content.


Fox News television personality Tucker Carlson told his viewers to drink bull semen to increase their testosterone.

Tucker Carlson Suggests Drinking Bull Semen to Increase Testosterone

NEW YORK, NY – To combat falling testosterone levels in American, white males, Fox News personality Tucker Carlson recommends drinking bull semen.


Amazon Assures Fans New Lord of the Rings Series Will Have Extreme Violence, Nudity, Incest

NEW YORK, NY – Amazon has released a statement assuring subscribers that the upcoming Lord of the Rings series will contain the amount of violence, nudity, and incest that fantasy television viewers have become accustomed to in recent years.


Brock Winsom, who played Physician By the Door, in an episode of the television show “M.A.S.H.” in 1975 is eager start treating patients.

Actors Who've Played Doctors or Nurses Called To Help with Treating COVID-19 Patients

NEW YORK, NY – Facing an overworked healthcare system due to the COVID-19 pandemic, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention is calling on any actor or actress that has ever appeared in a movie, TV show, or play as a medical professional to report to their closest hospital to treat patients.


President Donald Trump has been wearing a home-made sash constructed out of toilet paper, a paper crown from Burger King, and carrying a scepter fashioned from a toilet brush.

Trump Wearing Home-made Toilet Paper Sash, Crown

WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Donald Trump has begun wearing a hand-made sash and a paper crown around the White House as well as some official events.


President Donald Trump required assistance after he stuck his tongue to a frozen metal pole in the White House rose garden.

Trump Gets Tongue Stuck to Frozen Metal Pole

WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Donald Trump required assistance this week after getting his tongue stuck to a metal pole in the White House rose garden.


President Trump stands with his bicycle as he demands that the training wheels be removed.

Trump Demands Training Wheels Be Removed From His Bike

WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Donald Trump is demanding that the training wheels be removed from his bicycle as he is “a big boy that can ride a bike like a big boy.”


The Donald Trump Presidency's historically bad ratings may lead networks to cancel the show before the end of the current season.

Poor Rating May Force Networks to Cancel The Donald Trump Presidency

WASHINGTON, D.C. – If ratings don’t improve network executives say they may be forced to cancel The Donald Trump Presidency.


A commercial for a male enhancement drug featuring a black actor frightened white viewers.

Black Man in TV Commercial Results in 270 Calls to 911

NASHVILLE, TN – The appearance of a black man in a television commercial frightened white viewers and resulted in more than 270 calls to police.


President Trump has been staring at a paused television for three hours waiting for the show to resume.

Trump Staring at Paused TV for Over Three Hours

WASHINGTON, DC – President Donald Trump has been sitting in bed, starring at a paused image of the television show “Fox and Friends” for three hours, waiting for the program to continue.
“(Trump) has no idea that the TV is paused. He’s just sitting there watching it, waiting for the people to continue talking,” said head of Trump’s Secret Service detail, Ken Posher. “God, it’s been over three hours now and Trump is just sitting there, in his bed, with his fucking hamburgers, starring at his TV that is paused. Three fucking hours now. Every day we are reminded that Trump is a dumb, dumb man. Historically dumb.”


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