After realizing they can pay women and minorities less, companies are bringing back DEI initiatives.

Companies Bringing Back DEI After Realizing Women, Minorities Can be Paid Less

NEW YORK, NY – Companies across the country have been reinstituting Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI) campaigns after realizing women and minorities can be paid less than white men.


The internet has been going crazy with theories that this panda may be capable of faster-than-light speed travel.

Does this Panda Hold the Key to Faster-Than-Light Travel?

ATLANTA, GA – The internet has been going crazy with speculation that Ya Lun, a Giant Panda at the Atlanta Zoo, may hold the key to faster-than-light (FTL) space travel.


Starbucks is introducing new dick flavored coffee drinks.

Starbucks Unveils Dick Flavored Coffee Drinks

SEATTLE, WA – Starbucks will be expanding its menu next month, rolling out new dick flavored coffee drinks to stores across the country.
“When looking for a new flavor we asked ourselves ‘what do people, at least most people, like?’ the answer was obvious; dick,” said Starbucks Flavor Engineer, Kylie Kearns. “And the love of dick is worldwide. Almost every single woman has had a dick in their mouth at some point."

Ohio Changes Voting Laws to Prevent Voter Fraud

COLUMBUS, OH – The Ohio State Senate has approved sweeping changes to voting laws including requiring voters to have a gold-plated voter ID card.


NRA Members, Anti-gun Protestors Yell Words

ATLANTA, GA – Just days after a mass shooting in a Louisiana movie theater, anti-gun advocates and the NRA faced off in another round of debates about gun control.


The Cleveland Indians unveiled the teams new mascot, Kavi, last month.

Cleveland Indians Change Mascot to Man from India

CLEVELAND, OH – Responding to political pressure, the Cleveland Indians baseball team has changed its mascot from a Native American to a man from India.


Did a 6-year-old predict the rise of ISIS with this drawing?

Did 6-year-old Predict Rise of ISIS with This Picture?

ALBUQUERQUE, NM – The internet is buzzing after a recent blog post suggested a local 6-year-old predicted the rise of ISIS with a picture drawn three years ago.


A new documentary shows how dangerous babies can be.

New Documentary Shows Danger Posed by Babies

LOS ANGELES, CA – A new documentary highlighting the danger of babies is causing a series of protests and calls for tighter restrictions on owning a baby.


Leaks Shine New Light on Pope Selection Process

VATICAN CITY – Now that a new Pope, Francis I, has taken his place as the head of the Catholic Church, details are beginning to leak as to just how the new Pope was elected.


Congress Passes Laws Aimed at Stopping Santa

WASHINGTON, DC – Despite protests from the North Pole and Keep Christmas Free, Congress passed a set of new laws aimed at reducing Santa Claus’ role in Christmas.

Under the new laws, presents can no longer be delivered by chimney, reindeer can not fly within 300 miles of a major metropolitan area and if stopped by police, Santa Claus must provide documentation proving his legal authority to travel within the United States.


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