Heaven – God is defending the use of floods after online criticism accused God of having a lack of creativity and recycling ideas.

NEW YORK, NY – Summer is in full swing and summer fashion is flying off the shelves. Inspired by changing weather and a changing economy, this year’s summer fashion trends are both light and cheap.

ST LOUIS, MO – A local man has told friends that he is already regretting his late-March hot tub purchase.

WINTERLAND – Old Man Winter’s family and friends are concerned that his recent erratic behavior may be due to cognitive decline or drug abuse.

BOCA RATON, FL – Scientist have traced climate change, specifically global warming, to a grandmother’s thermostat in Florida.

WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Donald Trump required assistance this week after getting his tongue stuck to a metal pole in the White House rose garden.

ORLANDO, FL – Both police and animal control officers are looking in to a recent report that a ferret has purchased over 23 gallons of chocolate milk from a local grocery store.

DENVER, CO – After recent snowstorms wreaked havoc in cities across the country, God has apologized saying he made the decision to create the winter storms after “half listening to some eight-year-old’s prayer.”

SAN FRANCISCO, CA – According to recent census data, Americans are flocking to large cities, specifically ones that are likely targets during a nuclear attack.
“Since the 2016 election, we’ve seen a sharp increase in people moving to cities that would be targeted first in a nuclear attack,” said U.S. Census Bureau representative, Kelly Zhou. “Cities like Los Angeles, New York, Washington D.C., Seattle – those cities are seeing a huge influx of people hoping to die right away when we end up in a nuclear war.”

EUGENE, OR – A recent snowstorm has forced a local man to think about how much he really like the woman he is currently dating.