BOSTON, MA – A new startup company is aiming to cash in on the St. Patrick’s Day holiday by temporarily turning people Irish through “biologic swaps.”

RICHMOND, KY – Local man Jason Newtbury is upset that he does not find the lead actress of a popular show “hot” and is vowing to boycott the show until the actress is replaced with someone Newtbury finds attractive.

BELLINGHAM, WA – A local man has ruined Karaoke night at a popular bar by singing a “total bummer of a song.”

MENLO PARK, CA – Meta has announced a change in the company’s virtual reality strategy which will shift focus to producing a virtual reality for and containing only old, white people.

BEAVERTON, OR – Instead of parenting, a sign was placed on a local street asking drivers to watch for children.

DETROIT, MI – Local man Eric Blumenthal has changed his political beliefs from Democrat to far right-wing Conservative after receiving some negative feedback on a recent performance review.

SEATTLE, WA – A local woman says she is frustrated with constantly being referred to as “Caleb’s girlfriend” instead of her name.

MIAMI, FL – The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse have announced they are reuniting for one final world tour this year.

LOS ANGELES, CA – The popular dating app Tinder is planning on expanding to a new market by allowing users to list their blood type and organ health within the app.

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Republican Vice Presidential candidate J.D. Vance has been revealed to be an artificial intelligence generated person.