SAN FRANCISCO, CA – A new study from a team of researchers at Stanford University has found that a large majority of single men remain single because they are “dipshits.”

FULLERTON, CA – Guitar manufacturer Fender will be releasing a new line of guitars designed specifically to sit in the corner of a room during video conference calls.

SALEM, OR – After almost five years of waiting, local man James Beal, 29, has announced that the new video game, The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom (TOTK), has not made his life complete.

PHOENIX, AZ – A local man was saddened by the realization that he did not know, nor had heard of, any bands that are scheduled to play a local music festival.

TORONTO, CANADA – For the 57th consecutive year, the Toronto Maple Leafs will not play in the Super Bowl, frustrating a dedicated and passionate fan base.

COSTA MESA, CA – Classmates have declared local boy the “luckiest boy in the world” for celebrating Christmas, Hanukkah, and Kwanza.

NEW YORK, NY – The season of gift giving is here and to help find the best toys for the children in your life, The Scoop News has pulled together a list of this year’s top selling, sought-after, and affordable toys.

LOS ANGELES, CA –With inflation and corporate greed raising costs of most goods, putting together a Halloween costume on a budget is a high priority for many this year.

LOS ANGELES, CA – A yet to be announced Marvel Studios Disney + series with a female lead is already getting poor reviews on IMDB.com.

PRESCOTT, AZ – A local Republican says he’s getting a bored “constantly owning all the libs” and is considering taking some time off to focus on himself.