SEATTLE, WA – A wealthy, retired, local man thinks someone needs to do something about the homeless issues affecting the city.

PORTLAND, OR – Local man David Ono has sent another email reminding his coworkers about Ono’s band’s upcoming show.

BOSTON, MA – A new startup company is aiming to cash in on the St. Patrick’s Day holiday by temporarily turning people Irish through “biologic swaps.”

AMHERST, MA – Local man Aiden Toews has made it clear to all attendees at the party that he is willing to spend several hours explaining why the Beach Boys album Pet Sounds is “the best album ever made.”

BEAVERTON, OR – Instead of parenting, a sign was placed on a local street asking drivers to watch for children.

SEATTLE, WA – A local woman says she is frustrated with constantly being referred to as “Caleb’s girlfriend” instead of her name.

LONDON, UK – It’s no secret that The Beatles wrote a number of songs based on real events and real people but what you may not know is that several of The Beatles’ songs were inspired by Ice Spice.

CHICAGO, IL – In response to complaints about high prices, McDonald’s announced plans to reduce the price of menu items but add new service fees.

LOS ANGELES, CA – The popular dating app Tinder is planning on expanding to a new market by allowing users to list their blood type and organ health within the app.

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Many leading climate scientists have decided they will stop warning of pending climate catastrophes and will instead suggest everyone “get to work on their bucket list.”